Marriage: What To Expect When Dealing With a Know-It-All Mother-in-Law

*Expect to wait between 5 minutes and until hell freezes over for your new mother in law to trust you. Why? Well, some mothers-in-law are so excited to have daughters-in-law that they can’t wait to conjoin themselves to your hip and will shower you with gifts and daily phone calls. Don’t expect this behavior to last. The novelty will wear off after the first year. Other mothers-in-law will feel threatened and are capable of doing the psychological work they need to figure out why they feel threatened, to confront their fears about you, and to overcome them. On the other hand, there are mothers-in-law who are not capable of doing that work, and will always have a rocky relationship with you.

*Expect changes in the relationship when you have children. These changes can be for better or for worse. The best relationships are those when your mother-in-law is empathetic and understanding about how much work and stress a new child can be on the parents. The worst is when the mother-in-law figures it’s “all about me,” and sees you as a breeder, and her new grandchild as the object of any and all attention.

*Expect changes in the relationship if your mother-in-law has another child who marries or has children. This is a great way to diffuse tension, so think about giving your single brother or sister-in-law a membership to an online dating website in the hopes that they’ll get married and give your mother-in-law a new project to focus on!