Divorce Tips: Splitting Family Holidays

I receive lots of questions from readers about how to split up the holidays, either because of divorce or family obligations. With Easter approaching, here are a few tips and strategies families can try to employ.1. Do it ahead of time. For anyone divorcing, splitting up the holidays for a custody schedule is not a pleasant task, but it is necessary, and if you do it sooner, rather than later, you will avoid combining fighting over the splitting of the holidays with the actual split. In other words, split the holidays in the custody agreement before the judge signs off on it to avoid fighting down the line.2. Alternate years. One year mom gets the kids for Christmas, and the dad gets them for New Year’s, and the next year, the reverse is true. Spell this out in the custody agreement. In fact, spell out the exact time that the custody schedule takes place — 2 p.m. on the Friday before Christmas — or whatever it is. Be exact because it will help to avoid doing it later.3. Tell the kids in advance of the schedule. They will handle the split better if they know what the schedule is and that both parents agreed on it.4. Send the children off with a happy face. Make sure that if you are not with your children, you are doing something to take care of yourself on the holidays, that the kids know where you will be, what you are doing, and when you will next meet up or talk on the phone, or both.