Parenting: Play Date Protocol

A play date is not unlike a “date date” except it’s between two children who are the same age, and it’s facilitated by their parents. To make a play date one parent should approach the other parent and introduce themselves if the two don’t already know each other. Then ask if they would like to arrange a mutually convenient play date. A park or playground is a great neutral place to have a play date. Alternating at the homes of the two children is also a good idea as long as both parents are present if the children are toddlers.

Never let your child go to another family’s house unless you know the family. If you don’t know them, get to know them. Before you allow your child to go to another family’s house without you find out some of the following:

*Do they have a pool and if so, is it gated? Lots of families are lax about pools and lots of families are hypervigilant about pools. Best to know where you both stand. Accidents do happen.

*Do they have animals? If your child is scared of animals you may want to ask that the animal be gated or locked up during the playdate — or at least notify the host that your child has a fear of animals. Or an allergy!

* Do they have older siblings — if so how old, what gender? Good information to know.

* What is their home and cell phones? Nothing invokes panic in a parent like not being able to reach a child when they’re in someone else’s care. Exchange information.

* Will a parent be home during the playdate or will a nanny or someone else be supervising? Many parents think nothing of leaving their child — and yours! — with a caregiver without telling you. Find out who’s going to be watching your children.

*Is your child sick or is anyone else in your house sick? One person’s flu is another person’s “under the weather”. Find your comfort level — and your host’s.

Whenever possible, make “family play dates” so that the families can get to know each other for two purposes: information gathering to make sure you want your child playing with this other child, and friend-making as families, parents and/or kids.

Reciprocating is good etiquette when it comes to play dates. You don’t have to jump on a reciprocal playdate. Return the invitation something within the next six to eight weeks and you’re in good playdate etiquette stead.