Education / Workplace: Finding and Keeping a Good Mentor

Finding a good mentor is just as hard as finding a good husband or wife — and well worth it. Here are some tips I give my readers who want to find and keep a good mentor:

* Know what you want. You don’t have to know EVERYTHING you want, but you should know if you want to be a chef or if you want to be an accountant. Your mentor is not a magician or a psychic. Do your homework first.

* Be honest with yourself about who you admire. You may admire Donald Trumps business acumen but not has personal life. You may admire Martha Stewart’s courage but not her career choices. Try to find someone that you really admire through and through. This way you won’t have to second guess their advice.

* Be persistent — just like you’d be with dating. Not every mentor is going to be right for you, and if they refuse you, they aren’t right for you. Keep trying until you find someone who is not just right, but available.

* Don’t harass your mentor. Contact them once a week or once every two weeks — or some agreed upon interval. The difference between a stalker and a mentor-ee can be those extra twenty calls.

*  Understand that your mentor is a human being. If they don’t get something out of the relationship they’re going to be less enthused. This doesn’t mean you should sleep with them. It does mean that you should give them feedback. Tell them what’s working, what isn’t working and what you’d like to do or have. Then listen.

* If you sleep with your mentor you will screw up the relationship. It’s easy to fall in love with an opposite sex mentor. Just read Pygmalion or any version of it since then, and you’ll see what can happen. Then read the paper and see what else can happen with sexual harassment suits, etc. Keep it above board, and maintain your professional boundaries.