Self Help: All About Affirmations

How can affirmations help women?

Any positive message or influence is a great tool for women. Women are better multi-taskers than men, and in general, they are better tuned in to the rest of the world than men are. They pick up messages — good and bad — and sometimes apply those messages to themselves. One way to pick up positive messages is to generate them themselves! This is a great tool for women, and a great tool for mothers to use and set a healthy example for their daughters. The daughters see the mothers using this tool, and they adopt that tool for themselves to use. In addition, the daughters see the mothers sending themselves positive messages and when the mother thinks and feels good about herself, it sends her daughter a message that she thinks and feels good about the daughter as well. Mothers who hate themselves, indirectly, hate their children, who are part of them. Breaking that cycle is difficult. Starting a healthful cycle with affirmations is positive.

Can you give me some examples of affirmations?

There are many ways to develop and execute affirmations, and readers should use and amend as well as originate affirmations that work for them, personally. Here are some that can be used as guides:

– I’m completely capable of completing the task at hand.

– I have the strength to do this.

– I have the grace and the strength and the flexibility to get through this and do it with aplomb.

– I will do this.

Specify the above affirmations for the specific things you want to achieve, overcome and execute.

Is there a science to choosing an affirmation that will be most effective? How should a woman go about finding one that fits her?

Most times people fashion affirmations to specific tasks at hand. For instance, they may say, “Please give me the strength to complete this report before dinner.” Or they may say, “I will lose these next ten pounds so I can fit into the red dress by New Year’s Eve.” What might work better is taking a step back. If someone is having problems or challenges achieving something, they may do well to start with more general affirmations.

For instance, if someone wants to finish a report for work before dinner, the affirmation might go something like this: “I have the strength to do what needs to be done in the time it needs to be done.” Or they might say, “I have an abundance of time. Everything I need to do, I will do.”

If someone is worried about weight gain and loss, they may step back from a specific goal of losing X amount of pounds to fit into X dress at first and go with an affirmation like, “I have the beauty and the strength to live the life I want to live.” Or they may say something like, “The universe has given me all the tools I need to do what I want to do.”

Is there a science to choosing an affirmation that will be most effective?

The science of affirmations is not something I’ve measured, but as a relationship expert, I can tell you that there is a mind body connection and that living a positive life will yield positive results. Negativity does carry an energy with it that multiplies like viral germs, and if you start thinking negatively, you will start acting negatively. Affirmations seem to combat this cycle of negativity and bad health for some people.

The success of the affirmations depends on the person’s ability to know themselves, know what works for them, what doesn’t work for them, and to know what is bothering or blocking them. These are all processes that are life-long. The more self-knowledge a person possesses, the better they will know what kind of affirmation works for them or doesn’t work for them.

What’s the best way to use an affirmation? Write it? Say it?

The more senses the affirmation affects, the more effective it will be. This is like studying for a test. Some people study visually. Others study by listening. Others need to talk or recite in order to learn. Some people study by touching. The more ways you can have your affirmation affect you — by reading, reciting, singing, sleeping on — the more effective it will be.

How often should affirmations be repeated?

An affirmation, by definition, is something that is an act of asserting truth. The act, in itself is a repetition of a thought. When you say what you’re thinking, you’re repeating, naturally. Therefore, affirmations are meant to be repeated. The number of times that they are repeated are as personal as the number of sit ups a person needs to feel fit or the number of meals a day a person needs to feel nourished. It’s personal and individual.

The number of affirmations a person needs for different issues is also different. Six affirmations may help a person feel good enough to go into a party alone. But sixty affirmations may be needed to keep from over-eating at the party.

For written affirmations, do you write the same thing over and over, or do you write your own thoughts on the subject of the affirmation?

You write the same thing over and over. And then if you get a new idea on an amendment of the affirmation that will help you better — because this is a dynamic process — you can amend the affirmation or include your new amendment in addition to the original affirmation.

How can we make affirmations as effective as possible?

Self-knowledge is the key to success. Because no two people are exactly alike, no two affirmations will be exactly alike. Experiment with different affirmations, different numbers of times and rates, with different issues. Use different mediums — voice, written word, song, etc. Re-affirm while you are cooking, while you are driving, while you are exercising. See if affirming many times helps, or if affirming while doing certain things — or just affirming as meditation, works.