Today: Considering Senior-Living Facilities?

Moving a parent into a retirement community or a nursing home depends on the various situations:

* Some parents need more day to day care as they age. This care can range from needing someone to cook for them to needing someone to bathe them.

* Some parents become lonely after the death of a spouse and appreciate the community of a retirement community.

* Some parents have no one to visit them because their children are all out of town, not willing to help out, or deceased. In this case, a retirement or nursing home takes the place of family.

When looking for a care facility for your parent’s:

* Assess your parents based on the above reasons for moving a parent into a care facility.

* Keep the future in mind. If your parent is self-sufficient now, what will happen if your parent needs more care? Is the facility you’re considering capable of providing more care? If not, you may want to consider a second facility when your parent is in need of more care, or a different facility that offers graduated levels of care.

* Be honest about your own abilities. Everyone knows you love your parents. But not everyone is a good caretaker, and the burden of caring for an elderly person can stress adult children to the point of health problems, problems with their own children, and marital problems. Consider the financial aspect of this, as well.

How to discuss the transition with your parent:

* Most people hate losing control. If this decision feels like it’s at least partly the parent’s decision, it won’t seem as much as a blow to them, emotionally. Tell your parent something along the lines of,  “Mom, I’m very concerned about your safety living alone. You’ve fallen alone and you’ve accidently set a fire alone. What do you think we can do to improve your situation?”

* Take your parent to see several facilities and ask their opinions on each one. This makes them feel like they’re part of the decision, if not the decision maker.

* Ask your parents’ doctors to make recommendations and also ask them to tell you what facilities to stay away from.