Etiquette: Gift Registries for All Occasions

When “Sex and the City” character Carrie Bradshaw announced she was marrying herself and registered only for Manolo Blahnik shoes, it was a bit of a commentary on our gift-giving culture. With gift registries — basically places where people can go and formally say, “buy me this” for my shower, wedding, baby, or new job — have we lost sight of what gift giving is all about?

Some say yes, but I’m very pro-gift registries and the reason is that it makes gift giving easier!

1. Once a person decides to give a gift, they’ve already thrown their hat in the ring. They want to give something. Now, the only question is what to give. A gift registry answers that question for them.

2. For those people who think that gift registries are too greed-oriented because they basically make it clear that the person registering wants things, need to get over themselves. There is nothing wrong with wanting a gift. In fact, wanting a gift to celebrate a special occasion is a sign of self-esteem that is healthy. There is a line that gets crossed when gift receivers are not grateful for what they receive or expect to be gifted by everyone at all times. But if the spirit is right, there is nothing wrong with wanting a gift.

3. Gift givers who balk at allowing their gift recipients to know how much money they spent on the gift need to get over themselves. Money does not equal worth of the gift giver — it indicates worth of the gift! There is nothing wrong with people knowing how much you spent on a gift — except that etiquette has dictated otherwise for so long — but with the huge boom in gift card giving this past holiday season, it’s clear that those etiquette rules are changing, as gift givers would rather hand over a gift card that says, buy yourself something nice for X amount of money — the way grandmas, aunts and uncles used to do all the time. The real meaning in the gift is in the intention and the spirit of the gift.

4. Bad gifts be gone. There is nothing worse than having a stack of gifts that are doubles or unwanted or in bad taste to the gift receiver. Especially when someone is setting up a new family with a wedding or second wedding, the gifts that they receive have a practical value as well as a sentimental one. To ignore that is to ignore the purpose of the celebration.