Why Are Social Connections So Important For Health?

We are not robots. We are dynamic creatures who’s bodies interact with what’s in our body and what’s outside of our body — physical, social, spiritual and psychological.

When people are healthy, friendships and relationship dynamics are easy. When people have health issues — physical, emotional, social or other — their illnesses manifest in their behavior and more clearly in their relationships. Tiffs happen. Feuds occur and break ups happen. If it sounds simple, that’s because it is. Health is not just the difference between not having cancer and having cancer. Getting enough sleep or eating well affects health on a short or long-term basis. The simplest way to see this is when a newborn baby doesn’t get what it needs, like sleep or food or comfort, it cries. Often new mothers have to figure out what the baby wants because it can’t tell the mother. This is the beginning of the babies relationships for the rest of its life.

If the baby is lucky enough to have a mother who does figure out what the baby wants, the baby will begin to know that if it is fed, it won’t feel bad. As children, some toddlers know they need a nap and ask for it. Others melt down until mom figures out that the child is just tired — not solely badly behaved. This simple formula continues into adulthood.

If, as adults, our needs are met — in other words, we have enough sleep and good food and comfort — we have a great start on our day and all the relationships we encounter in that day — from intimate ones to relationships with strangers on the bus or operators on the telephone. We snap or we let things roll off our backs depending on how healthy we are feeling at that particular moment.

How can we keep our social connections healthy?

By being aware when something feels good or when something feels bad. Knowing when something feels good and trying to keep things feeling good is important to health. Equally, recognizing when something feels bad and understanding what it is that causes that bad feeling, and then modifying behavior and/or circumstances to eliminate any bad feelings will keep a person healthy.

Apply this dynamic to interpersonal relationships and you’ll find yourself practicing good social life.

Is it possible to share holidays with family without fighting?

Of course it is! The reality is that it takes two people to fight. If you don’t engage in bad behavior or fighting, then there is no fight. It’s really very simple.

For those who are alone, what can they do to share special days with someone?

Being alone is a choice. There are lots of ways to be with people during holidays and at special times, but remember, even being in a crowded party can feel lonely. So if you’re feeling lonely or if you’re just alone, practice these tips to connect:

* Phone or visit that relative you never see or just don’t know at all.

* Extend yourself to a friend. You’d be surprised how many people would like to spend time with you at the holidays, but don’t invite you because they assume you have plans. Open up a little and let them know you have none.

* Volunteer. There are lots of people worse off than you — and a lot worse off, at that. Volunteer in a hospital, an AIDS clinic, a battered woman’s shelter, a VA hospital or an orphanage. That’s just the short list. Put your thinking cap on and come up with local options for you to show your good will and extend yourself.

* If you’re lonely in a crowd, open up. Don’t wait for someone to come up to you. You go up to someone and extend some holiday good cheer. And then do it again. And again. Being with someone is a practice — not luck.