How to Avoid The “Suddenly” Shaky Relationship

Relationships don’t get “suddenly” shaky. They build to shaky. They only seem suddenly shaky because people in the relationship aren’t paying attention. Below are some tips to keep your relationship from getting “suddenly” shaky:

1. Pay attention. Listen. Watch. Learn to understand people’s behavior, their motivations and their reactions. Nothing happens in a vaccum.

2. Notice patterns. If he or she isn’t home on a Saturday night — and that’s your usual date night — and they’re not out with you, look for patterns where this happens on another Saturday or other nights. Same with phone calls. Notice patterns in phone calls — when does he or she call you, and when does this pattern become disrupted? Patterns are signs of normalcy. Disruption in them are signs of change, which could mean you’ve entered shaky ground.

3. If he or she seems distracted, disinterested or some other emotion that is not normal for your relationship, instead of going to anger or defensive, try a little harder. Pay them a little more attention or a little more positive attention. Be more of a man — or more of a woman — and see if that remedies the situation.