Etiquette: How Much to Reveal in Holiday Letters?

How much do you reveal in a holiday card when you are undergoing cancer treatment?

A card should not be a substitute for a phone call or a visit. That’s why cards are only 5×7 or slightly bigger. Or slightly smaller. They’re meant for short messages.

At the holidays write a few (that’s three) sentences, at most, about what’s going on with you and yours. If you really want to be in touch with the recipient of the card, follow up with a call inviting them for dinner or a party.

Anyone going through cancer is going through a lot, and a Christmas card is not really the place to go into it. Use the card to say, “It’s been a very tough year for me. I’ve learned a lot about myself, and I’m grateful for a friend like you at Christmas. Looking forward to seeing you soon, Love, Blah Blah.” Or something like that.

The card should come from the patient, if the patient is up to writing. If the patient is not up to writing, then the card should come from the caregiver.