Looking for Happiness in 2007?

This is the time of year when people tend to be more conscious of their goals–those they want to achieve or those they’ve failed to achieve. Depending on where you are in your thinking, you’ll either hit the ground running, super-charged and driven or you might be melancholy, down on yourself, and feeling unmotivated as a result.

That’s the way I was over New Year’s–depressed and indulging in some self-flagellation over all that I don’t have and haven’t done. I started reading a book called, (It’s All in Your Head) Thinking Your Way to Happiness, by Stephen M. Pollan and Mark Levine. This turned out to be the perfect remedy for my hopeless mood.

The writing is conversational but informative. Points are made quickly without tons of boring scientific jargon and data. From the first page, you feel like you’re sitting down with two kind, wise, funny, and experienced uncles who are gently telling you it’s okay not to push yourself so hard. It’s fine to be who you are. Don’t we all need that?

What really got my attention were the parts on competition and comparison. It must be human nature that causes many of us to feel like we have to have more, do more, be more than others. Unfortunately, it doesn’t stop in middle school. It just gets more expensive. The authors explain so succintly how it will never be enough. It’s a viscious circle and they say, with certainty, that as long as we’re participants in the material race, we absolutely won’t be happy. Well, I don’t know about you, but if someone tells me so pointedly that I will not be happy by doing something, I’m going to think twice before I do it. I’ve learned that the hard way.

This book is loaded with quotes from the most brilliant thinkers in history, all inspiring and all so sensible that it’s really hard to ignore each message. There’s a story about the Greek philosopher, Diogenes, making this point: “The abandonment of materialism offers freedom.”  I know that’s true and it already was one of my concerns for the coming year. I’ve spent the last few months simplifying and getting back to basics, after many years of scrambling to keep up or get ahead. All that did was frustrate me and wear me out. I don’t want my goals–or anything else–to be controlled by others.

Looking inward rather than outward is another great suggestion the authors make regarding happiness. It may sound played but practice proves its truth. Have you ever noticed how agitated you feel when you’ve had too much social contact or too many conversations? I always know because I don’t feel calm. I feel unbalanced. Give me a few days of relative solitude and I feel fine.  

With reference to envy, they use a quote from medieval monk, Baltasar Gracian: ‘The envious person dies not once, but as often as his rival lives in applause.’ Think about it. When have you ever met a person consumed with envy who seemed even remotely happy? They make themselves and everyone around them miserable. That emotion has to go.

Loads of sensible, thought provoking explanations as to why we feel things that lead to our unhappiness fill this book. The first chapter starts with a quote from Eric Hoffer: ‘The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.’ Forty three years of testing that one tells me it’s true.

I’ve read a lot of self help books in my life and this is in the top three. I think it covers all of the major issues that baffle, frustrate, and overwhelm most people. It’s done in a clear, concise, no-nonsense manner, causing light bulb after light bulb to go on. Instant peace and understanding is the result. Whatever your intentions are for the coming year, happiness is bound to be a desire. Pick up this book and read it, then refer back to all the sound advice and sage quotations whenever you’re having trouble in your life. Thinking Your Way to Happiness is a positively perfect start to the new year.