Boring Lampshades Are Something to Think About

A person really should consider a thorough mental health evaluation when they start thinking about lampshades–A LOT. Since we’ve already established the fact that I may have an issue or two, I don’t mind fessing up to this lampshade thing. But let me explain…

Around the first of the year when I was considering resolutions–which I usually don’t do–I didn’t ponder along the lines of being a nicer person, having more patience, saving my change in a jar to help the needy or eating less chocolate (I already gave up drinking, the chocolate stays). I did evaluate my home interior goals though. Look, everyone needs to be in the shallow end every now and then.

I thought about how fun it would be to peruse antique shops and thrift stores for pictures. I love all things eclectic and the art department at Target is sorely lacking when it comes to unusual conversation pieces. I figured I could just start collecting interesting new wall apparel in 2007 and see what I end up with by December. It’ll be fun and challenging. 

The problem is I’m incapable of turning off my brain. If one’s good, two’s better and a second idea started forming. Lighting. I’m obsessive about it, among other things. I guess it’s a mood thing and my internal mood adjuster has been shorting out for years. Lighting is everything. Well, not really but humor me. The light in a room really does affect us in different ways. I hate ceiling fan or overhead lights because it always seems like there should be a pool table under them. They cast a dim, dingy Motel Six kind of light. I prefer lamps because the light is softer and cozier.

But in a big room it takes several lamps to get the right amount of light. I’ve been dealing with this in my living room for some time. This is how I developed a complete aversion to the current lampshade selections in stores. They’re BORING! They’re boxy and neutral. Clumsy looking. Is it just me?

This really falls into the category of too much time on one’s hands but I started looking at lampshades everywhere. When you see older lamps they have cool shades on them. Really. The ones from decades ago are smaller and they come in shapes. They have interesting touches, adornments and patterns. They don’t make the lamp look like it needs to be accompanied by an air traffic controller. Since I decided that new lamps are boring too I’m going to add old lamps and lampshades to my 2007 accessory accumulation plan. 

My friend owns a historic building downtown and there’s a tiny shop in the back which I told her–with great enthusiasm–should be a vintage lampshade store. She looked at me like I was on crystal meth. Maybe I am indulging my thoughts excessively. They’ve become like out of control teenagers wreaking havoc whenever they’re let out.

Or, possibly, I’ll be the envy of all my friends when I get to comb the world over looking for inventory for “Yesterday’s Shade” and women just like me (I know you’re out there) spend ridiculous amounts of money in my store because they simply can’t resist the uniqueness.