Live and Let Live

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the statement, “Live and let live.”  Before I got sober I just couldn’t grasp the real meaning of this short phrase that I knew was supposed to release me from the overcrowding in my head. For most of my life vexing individuals would just move right into my mental state without paying taxes or contributing anything good to the environment. The nerve of them.

Now that the fog is beginning to clear, eight months after my last drink, it has dawned on me that I truly understand the meaning behind these four words as they are strung together. Miraculously, people have stopped moving into my brain and littering it with their annoying ways, ridiculous ideas, arrogant behaviors and disturbing demeanors. I wonder why. Maybe it’s because they aren’t being welcomed there anymore. It could be that I’m getting healthier and I don’t roll out the red carpet and put satin sheets on the beds for them like I did for years.

“Come on in,” I’d say. There’s nothing much going on in here so why don’t you all just climb aboard and have a free-for-all at my expense. You can antagonize me and I can blow your behavior out of proportion and dwell on it until I’m homicidal. Oh, and if positive thoughts try to come in–by all means–send them away immediately. Mi cabesa, su cabesa.

 Live. That would be the first word in the statement. And I do that today. I read and I work and I write and I pray. I go to meetings and I talk to treasured friends who think like I do. I enjoy the now and I never knew how to do that before. I was always worried about what you did to me or what you were about to do to me. Whether you were George Bush or the person behind the counter at CVS. And everyone in between.

I guess I thought the people who make up my world kept me in their heads as much as I did them. I’m pretty sure today that most people didn’t devote as much time to making me miserable as I was convinced they did.

And let live. I’ve discovered that if I’m positively and productively occupied I’m only too happy to let others do and think as they will. When my life, thoughts and activities are fulfilling I’m quite content to let everyone else do their thing, whether I agree with it or not. And how do I know if I agree with them or not if I’m minding my own business? What a concept. 

Duh!!! It’s a lot easier to push unwanted guests gently out of your psyche when they have to hesitate at the door because of the abundance of good things already in there. While they’re figuring out how to squeeze through the happy, laughing crowd you just ease them backward and close the portal.

Not knowing or minding what they do after that allows me to live…and let live.