Pam and Kid–Once Again, the Bananas Split

Whaaaaaaaaaaat????!!! Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock are divorcing??? SHOCKING!!

I mean, really, who would have thought…given that touching ceremony in Saint Tropez, the sacrament (with an O) of the union, the bride resplendent in a skimpy bikini and captain’s hat. Let’s not forget the touching sentiment she delivered. I believe it was, “I’m gonna ride him like a cowboy!” Who could believe it wouldn’t last?

What is it with these people? Can’t they see how ridiculous they are? I guess they just don’t care. They simply aspire to outtrash each other. It seems obvious it’s usually the ones with zero talent who fell into fame by fluke, got a part on looks, didn’t want to hone a craft, and certainly didn’t want to let go of the limelight.

When I look at Pamela Anderson I just see dirty. She looks like someone who would wander barefoot into a convenience store…oh, wait a minute…that’s another celebrity. I think she’s an embarrassment to her poor kids and God only knows what the rest of her family thinks. With all of the contacts she has and the success she found on Baywatch (even though it wasn’t connected to talent), why wouldn’t she have shot a little higher over the years?

Now she looks like a duck in a porn cartoon and she’s headed straight for that cracked plaster look that has decorated many a forced beauty’s faded face.

Okay, so I’ve been mean enough to Pam for now. The point is when a person’s whole being is rooted in sexuality, how can a relationship survive? Not to pin it all on her. It takes two to do the tacky tango. And Kid’s certainly no Harry Belafonte.

I don’t know what substance abuse issues play a role in this debacle but I suspect there are some. Sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll do not a fairytale marriage make. 

We always see it coming. We saw it with Britney and K-Fed too. These crazy kids frollicking and groping each other on beach chairs in the Caribbean and beyond. But you have to wonder what they actually talk about on a daily basis. I can’t picture any of these people discussing foreign policy or the meaning of life.

So their lives revolve around physical appearance, material acquisitions, and partying all over the globe. It becomes apparent that once that all gets boring, as surely it would, there is nothing left to do but brawl.

Any reasonable person who has been around more than two decades knows the novelty wears off of everything– sooner rather than later, yes, even four hour sex tapes and riding “like a cowboy.” There has to be something real and genuine in tact.

At least Kid Rock can sing.