Christmas Eve–Different Things to Different People

I’ve been getting a lot of mileage out of Christmas here. Don’t see getting this much material out of Valentine’s Day and President’s Day but Christmas has provided bountiful commentary.

Christmas brings out the best in some and the worst in others. I have one person in my life who absolutely loses it every year in the weeks before Christmas. She becomes a huge pain in the rear, obsessing and complaining and sniping and griping. It goes on until Christmas Day is officially over. Now that I realize this attitude is going to prevail, sure as shopping, I steer clear. No one’s dampening my Christmas cheer.

But I guess lots of people are overwhelmed by the whole thing. It’s sensory overload and there’s a lot of pressure to spend more than we should–usually self imposed, though. There are parents, step-parents, grandparents, in-laws, children, siblings, and others to appease with, often obligatory, visits. It can be stressful and exhausting.

Then there are those who have no one. They’re lonely tonight. This night is the hallmark of togetherness and when you get out there and really look at the world we live in, it’s plain to see there’s a lot of real pain in this world, not the unnecessary kind I described above.

I chaired my first AA meeting tonight and what a night to do it. There are people in there who literally have no one. Some people live in their cars. One guy is a truck driver and he’s living in his truck right now with his service dog. Some of these people have been in the room non-stop all weekend long, just trying to get through this time.

This time last year, I didn’t know these individuals existed. Tonight they’re in my head and my heart. We talked tonight about how being alone isn’t always a bad thing. Pervasive loneliness is. We talked about a higher power. Mine is Jesus Christ (and not just because ”HE THE MAN” tonight) but I can’t ever see myself condemning another person for different beliefs–like some religions expect us to do. If there’s goodness, decency, and compassion for others then, whatever it is, it’s okay with me.

We reminded each other how lonely we can be in relationships, restaurants, movie theaters, elevators, and all kinds of populated places. We can be loneliest among people we know when we feel misunderstood, ignored, or invalidated. Or, we can be in the middle of nowhere with a good book, a cool breeze, sunshine, and a strong spiritual connection with our creator and feel completely at one with all that is, ever was, and ever will be. That’s a great feeling.

I think a lot of people probably breathe a sigh of relief at around 9pm on Christmas night. The pressure is off. No more bells and fathomed magical spells. No more building excitement for some but not all. No more reindeer reminders of dashed hopes at the mall. Many lonely people are used to their solitude and some are comfortable in it– even when they wonder if there should or could be more. But at this time of year the message is, “People, people, and more people on your team.”

And the people who’ve been obligated, beyond reason, to others–ready to snap someone’s neck–sit back and enjoy putting another one behind them, vowing not to speak to anyone in the family until Easter.

The only single idea I can think of, to make everyone happy, is actually the whole reason we go through all of this in the first place. Whatever your beliefs, whether you’re alone or in a crowd of obnoxious friends and relatives, or right where you want to be, that connection with your creator will put, or keep, everything right.