Loving, Losing, and Gaining During a Breakup

“It’s better to have loved and lost than to never love at all.”

How many times have you heard that and thought, “ugh, shut up”? Of course, you can argue both sides of it. Yes, you learn from every relationship you’re in; but whether or not you need to go through so many horrible experiences to learn your lesson is debatable. However, there are some things you get out of relationships that you just can’t find anywhere else.

Ex #2 was transferring to a college in the city that I was about to move to. When he came to my apartment after his orientation and meeting his future hockey team, he said to me “Susie, I met your new best friend.” Ok, whatever you say, I thought to myself. He elaborated, “her boyfriend is captain of the hockey team. They’re awesome people and we’re going to have so much fun hanging out with them.” Why did he think I would get along with her so well? Because she was wearing Victoria’s Secret sweatpants that said “Pink” on the butt. Right, that’s usually my first requirement in a friend. But I humored him and promised the 4 of us could go on a double date.

That summer, the ex played hockey in a summer league and I finally got to meet Greg’s girlfriend, Sara. We hit it off immediately and spent the entire game chatting and forgetting to watch our boyfriends play. That fall brought more of the same as Sara and I traveled to all the hockey games together and spent a lot of time together. Before long, we were hanging out outside of hockey games, going to lunch on Newbury St. or and shopping in Copley.

Our boyfriends drifted apart and decided they didn’t like each other very much anymore, but Sara and I stayed close. Eventually she broke up with Greg and I supported her throughout the hard decision and took her out shopping and partying in the city in an effort to forget him. She did the exact same thing for me when the ex and I broke up.

Now Sara and I are closer than ever. Neither of us talks to our exes. And they don’t talk to each other. But Sara and I spend endless amounts of time together and I consider her one of my best friends.

We both agree that we would go through the entire relationships with our exes again if it meant meeting each other. It was more than worth it. I will always be thankful to my ex for knowing how much I love ”Pink” sweatpants and introducing me to my “new best friend.” I loved and lost, but in the process, I gained something much more important.

Breakups can be hard, but having fabulous friends can make them a bit easier. Visit AskApril.com for more advice on how to mend your broken heart.