A Word About Winning  

The Psychological Components of Winning and Losing

A Word About Winning

Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

Advice Seeker: Dear April Masini,

I play a lot of intramural sports and it seems like some people win no matter what they do. Obviously they are talented athletes, but I don't think they're talented enough to be winning all the time! I think of myself has being really athletic and skilled, yet I lose a lot of games! Do you have any ideas why some people seem to win so much more than others? And why some extremely talented athletes end up losing all the time?

Sincerely,

I Don't Wanna Be a Loser


April Masini's advice:

Dear I Don't Wanna Be a Loser,

There are several components that have to do with winning athleticism. Genetics and an aptitude for coordination and athleticism definitely helps. Without athletic talent, it's much harder for athletes to win, but there's more to winning than what meets the eye... 

The psychological components of winning and losing are more elusive:

*Some people would rather win than be happy. They will stop at nothing. These people are sometimes athletes, where it's easy to see who wins and loses by the score, but other of these people are attorneys, business people and professionals in other fields.

*Some people equate winning with being a better person, and they hold winning in higher esteem than playing a good game.

*Some people who lose regularly don't feel that they deserve to win, and self-sabotage.

*Some people who lose regularly are afraid to stand out or have performance anxiety. This can keep a talented athlete from winning.

*Some athletes are easily distracted and don't know how to get into "the zone". They are aware of every nuance around them, which keeps them from focusing on the play and winning.


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April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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