Better Sex - Sexually Active Seniors

Advice for Getting Over Common Myths About Seniors and Relationships...And Tips for Learning to Accept Seniors Having Sex

Advice Seeker: Dear April,

My grandmother is in a nursing home, and she has a boyfriend there (which I’ve always thought was cute), but now I think she’s having sex with him. Is this normal? Do you have any advice on what I should do?

Signed,

Grandma’s Hot To Trot

April Masini's advice:

Dear Hot To Trot,

With Tina Turner over 60, and Sophia Loren pushing 70 -- Sean Connery approaching mid 70s and Paul Newman pushing 80 -- it’s cool, hip, and downright sexy to be a senior these days. In fact, a recent study of 1,300 men and women over the age of 60 by the National Council on the Aging found that 61 percent of the men and 37 percent of the women were sexually active. Some 61 percent of the men and 62 percent of the women said that sex was as satisfying as or more satisfying than it was when they were in their 40s. Nope, grandparents just aren’t what they used to be -- they’re even better!

Thanks to technology and medication, seniors are living longer, and most want to live richer lives that include romance and sex. Viagra, alone, has completely changed the landscape of sex and senior men. Older women are jockeying for position in yoga and exercise classes to stay fit and feel good. It doesn't appear that sexuality is dwindling in retirement …it’s on the up-swing!

Remember, age is not an obstacle to love or affection and everyone wants both and thrives with both. Even seniors. Sex drives do change as people age and certain medications can dull or kick up senior libidos, so there is no right or wrong amount of dating, sex or affection. In fact, many seniors may appear to be having sex, but they're just being affectionate. Everyone thrives with positive contact, and a sexual relationship between seniors can be very healthy and rewarding. But it can be difficult for families to accept the fact that grandma or grandpa is having sex with a girlfriend or boyfriend.

Society does seem to tacitly frown on senior sex - especially out of marriage. But many women outlive their husbands, and find themselves in retirement homes or living alone. Like any other single, they like company and affection. It is natural that if your grandma is in contact with other single men, she may strike up a relationship, and if she or he has sexual feelings, they will be expressed in the course of the relationship the way other adults express their sexuality.