Breakup Advice

Tips for How to Handle Getting Dumped

Advice Seeker: Dear April,

I was just dumped and I'm feeling absolutely miserable. It's hard for me to just sit here and do nothing and I have all these crazy thoughts running through my head. One minute I want to call him non-stop and see what he's doing and the next minute I want to lie in my bed and cry all night. I don't even know what to do so I can get over him. Please give me some advice for how I can get over my breakup and move on.

Sincerely,

I Was Dumped

April Masini's advice:

Dear I Was Dumped,

Getting dumped sucks! It’s just the worst. Not only is your heart hurt -- you’re insulted because he got to do the dumping. Any gentleman will give you the opportunity to do the dumping first. But if he did, and you didn’t, then this was coming, and you’re better off in the long run. Face it – you’re better off being with someone who doesn’t want to dump you, and you’ll recover; but for now, you’ve gotta heal gracefully – which is a tall order for any dumpee. Try these dos and don’ts to stay on course.

Dumping Dos and Don'ts:

1. Don't call him and hang up.

Do call one of your best friends every time you have the urge to call him.

2. Don't cut off all your hair or dye it green.

Do rejuvenate with yoga and a massage.

3. Don't burn all the gifts he gave you.

Do put them all in a box in the garage. After three months donate them to charity.

4. Don't call his family or friends.

Do call your family and friends.

5. Don't dwell on being dumped.

Do vent and then get over it. Try to put your feelings and his feelings for you in one category, and your actions and his in another. Chances are, if you separate his behavior from his feelings, you'll get over it faster.

6. Don't write him a letter and send it to him.