Career Advice - Feedback

Why Some People Seek Out Feedback and Why it Can Be Good For Us.

Advice Seeker: Dear April,

I love my job and I know I'm good at what I do. My co-worker is also good at what he does, but our boss never gives us any feedback on our work. I argue that if we were doing something wrong, our boss would tell us. But my co-worker thinks he should be giving us feedback anyway. Shouldn't we have enough confidence in our work to know we're doing well, and not need constant approval?

Sincerely,

Hard Work Pays Off

April Masini's advice:

Dear Hard Work Pays Off,

People need approval for all sorts of different reasons and approval can be good and necessary too. To be honest, you should want feedback even if you really do think you're doing a good job.

Why do people need to get feedback about themselves?

1. Many people are insecure, and they want feedback as validation that what they’re doing is okay.

2. Many times instructions are not clear, so someone may want feedback to clarify the original directions.

3. Some people are needy and want feedback, not so much for any productivity, but for the adulation it provides them.

4. Some people need feedback because they are masochists, and they look for criticism in the feedback because they are afraid of success.

5. Some people want feedback so that they can improve or gauge their progress, and they believe that the feedback will help them do that.

How can feedback help?

1. It’s nice not to live in a vacuum. Any feedback makes living in a vacuum less of a possibility.

2. Feedback is sometimes wrong, and hearing feedback that is really "out there" can help you develop more of a sense of self and know what’s right and wrong for you.

3. Feedback can give you a new opinion that you may not have thought of. Two heads are better than one prevails in many instances.

What happens if you don’t understand how others see you — in the realm of the workplace and your career?

1. You may go off in the wrong direction for the team, and that hurts everyone. Getting feedback can keep you on the right track.

2. If you don’t realize how others see you, this may not be the only place this is happening. You may be having the same problem in other personal relationships, and if you don’t address this, you’ll never have intimacy.

3. Other people’s opinions, offered up as feedback, can help you see where you are in comparison to others. Feedback is like a map. You can pick your path.

Do most people have a different perception of themselves than others have of them? Does that generally lean in a particular way? (For example: Most people think they’re smarter than others think they are.)

1. Not everyone can be on the same page, and it’s good to know if people you are involved with emotionally, or in business, are on the same page that you are. Feedback is a wonderful tool to gauge where you are, in other people’s eyes. Sometimes it’s a big surprise.

2. Most people surround themselves with other people who think the same way they do, or who realize the differences between themselves and accept and/or embrace those differences. Thinking differently than other people is not a problem, but not knowing that they think differently than you do IS a problem.

If you think you’re all that … and you don’t need feedback …

You’re going to have the self esteem to go far and do whatever it is you want, provided you are willing to roll up your sleeves and do the work — UNLESS … you’re deluded. Figure out if you’re as good as you think you are by:

1. Study your mentors. Don’t just idolize Christina Aguillera or The Red Hot Chili Peppers. Study their history. What were they like, how did they make it, and what did they have to do for their accomplishments.

2. Give yourself a time table. Not everybody who’s great gets recognized, and not everybody who gets recognized is great, however, if you’re on the road to stardom, and you have other responsibilities like rent, food and clothing — or a spouse and children — then you’d do best to give yourself a schedule for your career, whether it’s a six month plan or a five year plan, and stick to it.

3. Know when to make adjustments. If things aren’t going the way you’d planned, take a minute to regroup. Sometimes things go better than planned, and sometimes, worse. It’s good to have a plan, but it’s good to know when to veer off it.

4. Know when to quit. If it’s not going to happen, and you’re out of energy, money, and patience from your friends and family, change your plans. There are lots of things you can be good at — some you haven’t even thought of, and some of them, very simple — so simple, in fact, that may slip right by you if you’re not observant.