First Impressions

Advice on Why First Impressions Matter So Much and How You Can Make the Right One

Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

Advice Seeker: Dear April Masini,

I'm a really nice guy, but for some reason I have a hard time meeting girls to date. I think my main problem is that I'm really shy around people I just meet. These girls automatically assume I'm "not their type" because I'm quiet and not very outgoing at first. How can I get girls to hang out with me after our first meeting, so I can prove to them I'm actually a lot of fun and have a great sense of humor? First impressions aren't everything, after all...right? Please give me some dating tips.

Sincerely,

Give Me a Second Chance

April Masini's advice:

Dear Give Me a Second Chance,

First impressions. They are immediate, they are long lasting, and in most cases ... they are permanent. Unfortunately for you, no matter how great of a guy you are; no matter how sweet you are once someone gets to know you, the reality is: Your success with women will be based almost entirely upon their initial perception of you.

Do you have a second chance to make a positive first impression? The experts say, no.

How you can make a positive first impression:

Look The Part

Statistics show that how we appear speaks more about us, and is more important, than what we say verbally. The truth is, we speak very loudly about ourselves without even saying a word. Looking the part is over half the battle and although it may not get you all the way there, it will get your foot in the door. Remember that old adage, "Dress for who you want to be, not who you are." It holds true in business and in love.

Act The Part

It is a fact that in our personal affairs, as in all our business dealings, we sell ourselves first. Poor attitude, image, and behavior will adversely affect your success with women, just as it will negatively impact your success in business. If you want the role—look the part and act the part.

Successful businessmen understand the importance of positioning themselves by positively influencing the perceptions that people have of them. They understand the strong link that exists between the product and services they provide and the impression the buyer has of the sales person who is selling them. This is the difference between success and failure.

Be The Part

Correspondingly, a strong link exists between the initial impression you make upon a prospective date/mate and whether or not she will take the time to get to know you. Dating, as business, is all about sales. You must think of yourself as a product and the woman you are interested in as the buyer.

People who look successful and know how to manage their attitude, behavior, and appearance correctly, will receive preferential treatment in both business and social encounters. It is a proven fact.

Remember, the first time you meet a woman you have an opportunity that will never come again—the chance to make first impressions are important and easy to blow. They're equally easy to conquer, but they do take some forethought.

Here are some tips to make a great one:

1. Know your "audience." If you're meeting a classical cellist for dinner you may want to rethink your casual "any old first date" stance that you use for picking up waitresses. So imagine what it is she'd like and who you really are, and find the common ground as a baseline.

2. Decide what kind of impression you want to make. Some choices are: the guy who's full of energy, suave, laid back, sexy, friendly, dangerous -- at least have an idea of what it is you want to portray.

3. Be honest. While it's great to put your sexiest face on -- don't overdo it so that you make your first impression one big, fat lie.

4. Look great. This should be a no brainer, but some people need a little nudge in the right direction here. Grooming, wearing clothes that flatter your body, and dressing appropriately for whatever occasion you're attending, are all key to looking good for a first impression.

5. Manners cannot be underestimated. Open the door for her. Bring her flowers. Pick up the check. Don't eat with your fingers. Hold her chair out for her to sit down. Brush up on these social pointers and make a blow out first impression.

Also, check out my book, Date Out of Your League, for more tips on how you can make the best first impression possible.

You may also be interested in:
Dating Advice for Women, Dating Tips for Guys, Ideas for a Fun Date, Romantic Date Ideas, Better Sex, Kissing Tips

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.