Dating Tips: Is Your Voice Affecting Your Love Life?

How You Sound - Your Voice, Your Tone, Your Speed In Saying Something - Is Often More Important Than What You Say

Advice Seeker: Dear April,

I often find that I'm attracted to men because of their voice. And not only their voice, but the words they use and how slowly or quickly they speak. I dated a guy who was perfectly nice, but always felt the need to throw in a swear or two in his every day conversation. This really got on my nerves, and I dumped him because of this. Why does the way a guy sounds impact how I feel about him so much?

Sincerely,

Is it in His Voice?

April Masini's advice:

Dear Is it in His Voice?,

Think of the biggest movie stars of all time... I bet you can recall each of their voices, can't you?

The way someone sounds hugely impacts their relationships with individuals and audiences. One of the sexiest assets a person can have is a great voice.... In addition to their voice is their cadence, their word choice and their speaking etiquette. Someone who speaks very, very quickly is not going to be perceived as sexy. They will be perceived as smart -- or annoying or both -- but not sexy. One of the sexiest voice tools is the appropriate pause. A pause in speech can be very suggestive.

Word choice is also a huge component of voice and how a relationship is affected. Someone who peppers their speech with curse words may appeal to a more "gangster" or "urban" or "red-neck" audience or relationship. Someone who never curses will have a more regal appeal and a leadership appeal. Someone who peppers their speech with terms of endearment may seem sweet or fake, but never a leader or professional. Then there's the most important part of speech next to actual tone: etiquette. Someone who speaks with good manners is seen as successful and approachable. A lack of manners indicates a lack of respect for one's self, which is never very attractive.

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