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Tips for How To Help Your Husband Cope With Job Loss

Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

Advice Seeker: Dear April Masini,

My husband lost his job last week, do you have any advise on how I can help him cope?

You're Terminated

April Masini's advice: Sadly, I have received dozens of emails asking this same question and while there is no easy answer for counseling or consoling husbands who are struggling through the shame, guilt and anxiety of unemployment I do have some tips.

Be His Cheerleader!   No, I’m not talking about any freaky stuff in the bedroom here (save that for another article). What I am talking about is becoming his biggest champion. There will be many days when you husband will struggle with thinking that he was not good enough to get a job to take care of his family. It is your job to remind him how important he is to your family, how proud you are of him, and how much you love him. Encourage him! Remind him this is an opportunity to pursue the job of his dreams, or, at the least, tell him every day just how much you believe in him.

Be His Rock! This isn’t to say that you can’t show that you’re worried or frightened, but know that he may be feeling particularly vulnerable right now, and may need you to be the strong one.

Be His Lover! You doubtlessly know this already, but sometimes sex is the best gift you can give to your man, especially when words may fail you. Show him that despite the current hardships, you still love him, find him attractive, and that he’s still “a real man” in your eyes. Trust me, you’ll speak volumes without saying a word!

Communicate With Each Other! It is critical that you communicate with each other, so that you each know how the other is feeling and so that you don’t create expectations that the other doesn’t know about.

Communicate With Kids! Recognize the need to let the kids know what’s going on and how you are doing, as it is appropriate to their age. Tell them when Dad has a job interview, or even when he gets a call for a potential opportunity.

Be Willing to Adjust!   If you are used to having time at home by yourself and then all of the sudden you have your husband around constantly, your routines will have to change and you will likely long for your “alone time”. Should resentment start to creep in, remember why he’s there -- recognize and be sensitive to the fact that he does not want to be at home either.

Pray Together! This type of change and uncertainty is a time to draw together and to seek strength from a higher power, whatever your faith. Whether it’s a decision to be made, or just about whatever you are feeling – or just praying together for one another. It’s a tremendous way to demonstrate your love for each other, and to feel like you are tackling the challenges of life as a team. 

I can’t say there won’t be tough days and it won’t always be easy to keep trusting and believing, but sometimes the most important lessons in life are learned through our hardest trials.

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April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.