Help For Women After Divorce

Advice on How Women with Children Can Get Back on Track Financially After a Divorce

Advice Seeker: Dear April,

I've been a stay at home mom for the past 10 years and think it's the best, most important job in the world. However, I just went through a divorce and realize that in order to make ends meet, I'm going to have to go back to work. Not only am I extremely angry at the situation and at my ex-husband, but I feel so guilty that I'm going to have to leave my children and not be there for them when they get home from school. I'm also nervous I will have a difficult time getting back into the office life after being out for so long. Do you have any advice for me? Being a single parent is tough!

Sincerely,

Soon to be a Working Mother

April Masini's advice:

Dear Soon to be a Working Mother,

It's a tough situation, but you're going to be OK! I hope my advice helps you feel a little bit better about the situation.

Getting back on track professionally:

1. Accept the situation. It's easy to feel bitter, angry, and duped by your ex who is probably having a much easier time supporting himself than you are. Don't bring those feelings into a work situation. You'll project what you're feeling. This is much harder done than said, but it's worth the effort.

2. Be honest about your skills. Don't tell an employer you have the same skills as someone who's been in the field for ten years. The idea is for you to slide up the ladder -- not down it. It's much better for you to be underestimated by your boss, who then finds out how talented you actually are than the other way around.

3. Get a great babysitter network going. Don't feel guilty. Your children will definitely have a different experience than they would if you were still a stay at home mom, but this isn't cancer. You're setting an example for them of going with the flow and doing what needs to be done no matter what life sends your way. This is a valuable lesson for your children to have that they might not have gotten otherwise.

4. Support group. Make friends with other divorced moms who are getting back into the work force. You'll have a place to get ideas, vent, and network, as well as understand the process.