Holiday Breakup
How to Celebrate New Year's Eve After A Breakup
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini
Advice Seeker: Dear April Masini,
My boyfriend and I were going through some issues toward the end of this year, and the stress of the holidays led to us breaking up on the day after Christmas. After spending the holiday with both our families, things just came to a head.
I'm distraught over the entire thing, and now I'm facing a New Year's party by myself. I was supposed to go with my now ex, and I'm considering just staying home. I am a little unsure if I can make it through the night without crying and I don't want to do anything stupid. I feel like everyone else at the party will either be with a date or in a relationship already. Do I just call this New Year's a wash or do you have any tips on how I can tough it out?
Sincerely,
Dumped and in a Slump
April Masini's advice:
Dear Dumped and in a Slump,
Deciding whether to do go out or stay in is entirely dependent on your own mindset. Some people recover much more slowly than others and some people would think that staying in and wallowing would be a nightmare. Regardless of what you decide, here are some Do's and Don'ts to keep your night upbeat and keep yourself together.
DOs for New Year's After a Breakup:DO have reasonable expectations for the evening. You probably won’t meet Mr. Right tonight, and be engaged six months from now. You will probably have a good time or a bad time — that’s right — one or the other. Your choice. Decide in advance what you’d like to do, and stick to your plans.
DO look great if you’re going out — or staying in. The best way to make sure you have a good time out is to wear something that makes you feel good, look festive and special and to know you’ve done your best in the hair, makeup, grooming and clothing departments. And if you’re staying in, fight those “I’m a loser” blues by putting on a new pair of something lounge-y and casual, and having good friends in for the night, or make it a DVD rental and fabulous pizza night at home. If you don’t want to go out — don’t.
DO make a short night of it if you do hit a party. If you expect to stay out until 3 a.m. raising the roof on every building you enter, you’ve set yourself a tall order to fulfill. If you plan to stay out for two hours, you’ll have a much better time — even if you have such a good time you plan to stay out for three or four. Set your sights realistically.
DON'Ts for New Year's After a Breakup:
Don't get crazy drunk. Tipsy is one thing. Newly single and drunk is a sloppy combination at a party. Stay cool and figure out what it is you want from the night before you go out. After two glasses of champagne, switch to club soda and lime. Drunk dialing from home alone on New Year’s Eve is bad manners.
Don't tell every cute guy you meet at a party about your break up. Nothing dampens romance quicker than a sad sack with baggage. Stay in the moment and try to keep it positive.
Don't call your ex. If you feel like you might, call a friend or family member instead. You will hate yourself in the morning if you do call him. There are 364 other nights in the year to call — don’t choose this one.
It'll take time, but once you're ready to date again, check out Think and Date Like a Man. It's a comprehensive guide to dating that includes looking your best, feeling your best and everything else you need to know!
You may also be interested in:
Dating Advice for Women, Dating Tips for Guys, Ideas for a Fun Date, Romantic Date Ideas, Better Sex, Kissing Tips
April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.
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