Holiday Stress - Dealing With Holiday Stress

10 Tips for Surviving the Holidays Without Fighting with Your Loved Ones

Advice Seeker: Dear April,

I am overly stressed when the end of the year comes close, especially because of holidays, gift-giving, and all activities related to it. Oftentimes, this stress amounts to many fights between me and the people I am closest too. The holidays are supposed to be about love, not about destroying the relationships you have with the people you love! Do you have any tips on what I can do to make things easier for me?

Sincerely,

Ms. Holiday Stress

April Masini's advice:

Dear Ms. Holiday Stress,

Holidays are crunch time. You have more to do in one day than you usually do in a week ... Workloads increase gearing up for holiday vacations. There are parties to plan, to give, and to attend. There are babysitters to arrange and clothes to buy for holiday events. There is decorating to do. There's massive shopping to do. There are the packages to get to the post office in time for Christmas delivery. And then there's all of the normal day-to-day busy work to do, too. It's already enough to push anyone over the edge -- and then you add on top of it the weight of family obligations and expectations -- and the risk of fights increase exponentially.

Here are 10 tips for how to survive the Holidays without having fights:

1. Keep your exercise routine going during the holidays. It will keep you healthy physically and mentally, and help to lower your stress level.

2. Shop early! Last minute shopping is stressful. And drivers are stressed out. Fender benders during the weeks before Christmas happen more often than other times. Everyone has his mind on more than usual and less on the road.

3. Buy six extra gifts that you can give to anyone -- just in case you forget, or someone you didn't expect to gift you does. Not having gifts you need is a real stress bucket, and it's easy to take out your frustration on those around you. Don't. Avert the whole fight by being prepared.

4. Make sure you have three or four great Christmas party outfits that are fool proof -- not just one -- in case someone spills red wine on your favorite white cashmere "party" sweater, someone shrinks something you need, or the dry cleaner can't find the silk skirt you were planning to wear for New Year's Eve. My books Think & Date Like A Man (for woman) and Date Out Of Your League (for men) have wardrobe tips and advice that will put you at the top of everyone’s Best Dressed List, at every occasion – even if you’re on a budget.

5. Make sure you plan enough private couple time for you and your girlfriend or boyfriend (or husband or wife). It's easy to lose intimacy with the daily hubbub, and frankly, nothing is more romantic than having a night before Christmas dinner for two out. Keep the Christmas spirit sizzlin'!

6. Do something for someone else and do it with your boyfriend or girlfriend or the whole family. Nothing reminds us what the Christmas spirit is about more than giving to those less fortunate than ourselves. Volunteer at a hospital, a shelter or a soup kitchen with your family. Suddenly you may realize you've been sweating the small stuff at home.

7. Go easy on the drinking. New Year's Eve is one of the biggest drinking nights, and aside from traffic accidents attributed to drunk driving, all it takes to spark a fight is one too many rum toddies. Pace your drinking. Make sure you eat. Take a few aspirin and drink a lot of water before going to bed after a big party night.

8. Have a quickie to break all the tension.

9. Make a vow not to fight with your family, and ask your boyfriend or girlfriend to help you keep it. Remember your vows before you go into a family dinner or party.

10. Turn off the phone for an hour each day. You can return calls when you turn it back on. They can all wait while you relax and enjoy the holiday.