Holiday Tips - Christmas Card Etiquette - Baring All In A Card

Do You Write a Lengthy Report About Your Illness in a Christmas Card?

Advice Seeker: Dear April,

I have had Christmas cards in front of me for the past two weeks, but I can't figure out what to write in them. You see, I have been going through chemotherapy for cancer for the past two months. Some people know about it and others don't, and I'm unsure what I should disclose in the card. Do I use this as a chance to update people on how I'm feeling and that I'm doing fairly well? Do I actually announce my illness to those that know nothing about it? It feels a little weird to ignore it altogether when writing the cards out, but part of me thinks that's the easiest thing.

What's the etiquette for this type of situation?

Sincerely,

Needing the Write Words

April Masini's advice:

Dear Needing the Write Words,

A card should not be a substitute for a phone call or a visit. That’s why cards are only 5×7 or slightly bigger. Or slightly smaller. They’re meant for short messages.

At the holidays write a few (that’s three) sentences, at most, about what’s going on with you and yours. If you really want to be in touch with the recipient of the card, follow up with a call inviting them for dinner or a party. Writing a long letter about your illness is too personal.

Anyone going through cancer is going through a lot, and a Christmas card is not really the place to go into it. Use the card to say, “It’s been a very tough year for me. I’ve learned a lot about myself, and I’m grateful for a friend like you at Christmas. Looking forward to seeing you soon, Love, Blah Blah.” Or something like that.

The card should come from you, if the you are up to writing. If you not are up to writing, then the card should come from your caregiver.