Holiday Tips: Trendy Or Tacky Holiday Letter

Advice to Think About Before You Send Out That Yearly Family Update

Advice Seeker: Dear April,

I usually send out a large batch of holiday cards with a quick sentence or note inside to family and friends. I have noticed in recent years, as my friends have children, they have begun sending out holiday newsletters -- often elaborate affairs with color printing, photographs, clip art, and the whole nine yards.

I kind of like the idea of getting everyone updated with what's going on with my family in one fell swoop, but at the same time can't figure out how much to share or if the entire thing is tacky. After all, the letters aren't even personalized -- they just print copies and stuff envelopes.

So my question is: how do you do a holiday newsletter tactfully?

Sincerely,

Old School Card Writer

April Masini's advice:

Dear Old School Card Writer,

Okay, you asked, so I'm going to answer your questions and tell you what I think...

How do you do a tactful holiday newsletter?

You don't.

Holiday newsletters, like fruitcakes, do not go away. They will never go away. They are here to stay.

Why do people send newsletters at holiday time?

Because it’s easy and it’s impersonal.

Why they shouldn’t send newsletters at holiday time?

Because it’s much warmer and more gracious to connect with someone personally — in a card or phone call or visit.

Holiday Newsletters ARE tacky because they are impersonal. The purpose of sending Christmas cards or holiday cards is to share your good wishes with people. You’re not dropping leaflets from a plane over a city, wishing everyone you don’t know, good cheer. You’re sending a card from one home to another, from you and yours to a specific friend or family. When you do so, you make an implicit contract with them that what you are sending is not junk mail. It’s personal.

It’s better to send a short, personal, handwritten note in your holiday card, then a xeroxed blurb (or pages of blurbs) about your yearly highlights.

If you can’t write a personal note, call or visit, then reconsider your mailing list. Quality is better than quantity.