How To Ease A Break Up  

Dumped on Valentine's Day and Tips for Getting Over it

How To Ease A Break Up

Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

Advice Seeker: Dear April Masini,

Things have been a bit rough with my boyfriend lately and I'm really worried he's going to dump me on Valentine's Day. Why do I think this? He hasn't said a word about what we're doing to celebrate and won't talk to me about it. Shouldn't he at least be a gentleman and take me out and dump me after the big day? He knows how important Valentine's Day is to me! Would a guy really dump a girl on Valentine's Day? And do you have any tips on what I should do if he does dump me?

Sincerely,

V-Day Dumping


April Masini's advice:

Dear V-Day Dumping,

Men who do their dumping on Valentine’s Day are not just anti-lovers – they’re afraid of commitment to such an extreme extent that they can’t make it through an entire 24 hours of V-Day without dumping their sweetie on what should be the sweetest day of the year.

Why don’t these guys just wait a day and do their dirty work on February 15th? Because that would mean they would have to be civil and celebratory and even participate (yikes!) in a national love fest. For anyone who celebrates love – Valentine’s Day is a treat – even without a lover. Mothers give their children Valentine’s. Children give their teachers Valentine’s. Pet lovers give their poochies doggie treats. But for someone who is afraid of commitment, participating in a love tradition is uncomfortable – and even painful. Sometimes it is so uncomfortable that they break up with their girlfriend just to feel something that they’re used to – whether it’s an absence of love or plain full on pain.

Signs that he’s going to do the dumping on V-14:

  • The week before, he doesn’t make dinner reservations for Valentine’s Day.
     
  • He avoids all conversation about making plans to celebrate.
     
  • When you ask him, coyly, if he is getting you a present, he seems resentful.
     
  • The big day comes and you still don’t have any plans for later.

April’s Hints on How to Mend a Broken Heart on Valentine's Day:

  • If there’s a party you know about, get dressed and go celebrate with people who want to enjoy themselves! Look great, and you’ll have a better chance of feeling great. Flirt!
     
  • Rub those tears away with a rub down. Book a spa date for one. Call your favorite day spa and book yourself a massage, a manicure and a pedicure, a facial or any of the above. If he won’t take care of you – do it yourself. You’ll feel a little bit better immediately – and maybe a lot better. 
     
  • Rent a movie like Bridget Jones, The Philadelphia Story, Sex and the City (the complete first, second, third or any season on DVD), Four Weddings and a Funeral or for some good old fashioned teary catharsis, Love Story. Get some take out Chinese or sushi and give yourself dinner and a movie.
     
  • Take a yoga class or a long run on a beach or a beautiful winding road. You’ll change your body chemistry by exercising, use up some of the angry energy you’ll feel after being dumped, and you’ll sweat away some of the toxins in your body.
You may also be interested in:
Dating Advice for Women, Dating Tips for Guys, Ideas for a Fun Date, Romantic Date Ideas, Better Sex, Kissing Tips


April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.