Party Etiquette Tips

Double Birthday Confusion

Advice Seeker: Dear April,

There are a couple sets of twins in my child's grade at school and I'm slightly confused about the proper etiquette when dealing with twins. Is it acceptable for my son to invite just one twin to his birthday party and not that twin's sister? Also, if my son goes to the birthday party for a set of twins, do we have to take two of the same presents or can they be different?

Sincerely,

Twin Etiquette

April Masini's advice:

Dear Twin Etiquette,

Dealing with twins can be confusing, but the important thing to remember is that they are two separate people with their own identities.

If you invite one to a play date or birthday party, do you need to invite both?

No. Often twins are treated equally because it's easier for the tired parents of the twins. The truth is that some twins have different personalities and likes, dislikes, strengths, and weaknesses than other sets of twins. It is absolutely fine to make a play date with one twin or invite one twin and not the other to a birthday party. Understand, however, that if the parents are burdened, they may ask you to take both twins because it's easier for them. You don't have to do it, and you don't have to feel guilty about it.

When twins are one boy and one girl, this issue is a lot easier because many times girls only want to play with girls and boys only want to play with boys, so that this problem is diluted by opposite sex twins.

If you attend a co-birthday party, do you take two presents - and the same thing or different?

Take two presents always, and they do not have to be the same thing, but they should be equivalent. In other words, spend about the same on both gifts. Don't give one twin a piano and the other a paperback, if you know what I mean. And don't sweat it. It's just a present.