Relationship Advice - Congratulations On Your Retirement?

Tips for Couples on How to Retire Well and Keep Your Relationship in Tact

Advice Seeker: Dear April,

My husband is retiring soon and while I'm really excited for him, I'm a little nervous for myself. I've been a stay-at-home mom and now work out of the house, and I'm used to being here alone. Even though I love being with my husband, it's going to be difficult for me to get used to him being around me all the time. Do you have any relationship advice for me so I don't go crazy?

Sincerely,

Please Go Back to Work

April Masini's advice:

Dear Please Go Back to Work,

Retirement can be a wonderful time for couples -- especially for those couples in relationships who fear their spouse will be "on top of them" once retired -- once they figure out how to retire gracefully. But no worries -- here are the rules:

How to retire well:

1. Make a list of everything you want to do with this chapter in your life. Do it alone or do it with your spouse. Or do it alone and compare with your spouse. Turn this exercise into a celebration. Crack a bottle of champagne or read your lists over a celebratory dinner at a restaurant. Don't hold back here. It's just a list. You don't have to do everything on it, but if you don't write it down and read it, you'll never know if it's a possibility.

2. Pick three things on each list -- yours and your partner's list -- and make plans to do them over a specific period of time. Planning is important because it makes you feel like you're getting closer to your goals and living the life you want.

3. Give each other space. Many women fear their husband's retirement because they are afraid they won't have their own space in the house. Honor that fear and make sure you both have your own space -- not just a corner in the bedroom for a desk. Turn the garage into a den. Build an addition that can be an extra room for one of you to have some privacy in. This isn't separate bedrooms -- just separate dens.

4. Give your health a priority. Plans change when physical or mental illness strikes -- including depression. Work together to stay fit and healthy physically and mentally and emotionally.