To Move or not to Move? That is the question

[CompuTex]

Hi April
I have this really tough dilemma. I am currently engaged. She lives in Pennsylvania and I live in Tennessee. We met in PA while I was in a work vocation school called JobCorps but then went to a different campus. I am living in TN and currently looking for work (been looking for 2 months now). My fiance on the other hand has a job at a grocery but is working minimum wage. She wants me to move to Philly when she gets an apartment (don't know when that will happen). I don't want to move to philly. I have given several reasons why such as: Too Cold during winter, Her family lives there and have done bad things to her and have caused her to not talk to them, and lastly I feel unsafe living in philly. I have told her my reasons. I have also told her she can decide any other city but she keeps on about me moving to philly. I feel that she doesn't care about how I feel. I love her so much and we were planning to get married next year. We have been apart since Jan 2009(we met May 2008). I think us being separated has something to do with this but I'm unsure. Today she called me and told me I have to decide soon or we can go our ways. I feel that she is making it so that in order to love her I have to give up on my wants and that if I keep saying that I don't wanna move to philly then I'm just thinking of myself. So to summarize my question I'm needing help on whether I should just move regardless of how I feel on the living condition or should I just say goodbye and look for someone else? Thanks for any advice you can tender.

[April Masini]

This doesn't sound like a strong relationship. You were together for nine months, after which you got engaged. Since that engagement, you've been apart now, in different states, for over a year! And you're fighting about moving to her state to be with her?

What you need to do, if you're still interested in marrying her, is to get to know her again. A year apart is a very long time. Moving to a city you're not interested in moving to, at this point in your relationship isn't going to foster this relationship. She can clearly get a grocery store job in Tennessee, but doesn't want to, and you don't want to move to Philadelphia, so I think it's game over.

Next!