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How Confidence Inspires Dates

How Confidence Inspires Dates

By Contributing Advice Expert View more articles

They are not better looking than you. Their jokes are not funnier than yours. They don't even make as much money as you. But for some reason, your nemesis keeps getting the dates that you only dream of getting. Why are nice women always attracted to the men who are decidedly not like you?

The secret is confidence. It doesn't matter what else you have going for you. Without confidence, other positive attributes are wasted on you. Also, most of the positive attributes you value are based on confidence. Here are a few confidence tips that will bring your second date drought to an end:

Make a Confident First Impression

It is true what they say: You never get a second chance to make a first impression. If you don't impress on the first date, you can forget about the second. It's not going to happen. A lack of confidence in yourself will kill any chance you have of making a good first impression.

It is a little like a salesperson who signals a lack of confidence in the product. In this case, you are the product. Make sure the product is presentable in the following ways:

  • Excellent oral hygiene - There is no such thing as a great smile with bad teeth. You are delusional if you think you have a winning smile with visually unappealing teeth. Fortunately, this is something you can fix. The Guerra Dental family & cosmetic dentistry website lists some of the options as veneers, bonding, crowns inlays, and teeth whitening, just to name a few. Fix your teeth before working on a confident smile.
  • Hands and nails - Your hands say a lot about how you take care of yourself. There is nothing wrong with having working hands. But that does not mean your hands have to be unattractive. A manicure goes a long way. It assures that your nails are clean and even (don't bite your nails). Also, lotion your hands so that they are not unpleasant to touch.

There are all kinds of physical abnormalities that people can get past, particularly those about which you can do nothing. But expect to be judged harshly and rightfully for they things you can control. Without taking care of those things, your confidence is unwarranted.

Speak with Confidence

The most important skill you can learn for free is how to speak well. There was a time when diction and elocution were top educational priorities in this country. Though considerably more lax in that area, the education is still available. It is the thing that gets you to the second interview. And it works equally well for getting you to the second date.

You already know the kinds of questions your date will have for you. Don't act surprised when she asks how long you've been at your job, or what kind of books you like to read. Know how to answer the easy and tough questions. Most important, give confident answers and ask confident questions. Learn what to say and what not to say on a first date. Mumbling and fumbling for words on your first date will ensure that it is also your last.

Be Confident in Yourself

Regardless of your initial awkwardness and conversational faux pas, you still may have what it takes to get to the second date. Remember, the product up for consideration is you. Everything from body language to speech patterns tells the person you are with whether or not you are confident in yourself.

No matter how you look, it is confidence that makes you attractive or not. Confidence, not content, is what makes your jokes and stories worth hearing. You don't have to wear the latest, trendiest, and most expensive fashions. It really isn't the clothes that make a man. It is the man that makes the outfit work.

Make the first impression count. Because it is the only one you will get. Speak with clarity. And be comfortable in your own skin. This is the path to a second date. Oh, and don't forget to pop a breath mint. It couldn't hurt.