Striking The Right Tone For A Second Marriage
By Contributing Advice Expert View more articles
Most little girls grow up with starry-eyed visions of their wedding, and for many of them, it comes true. The flowing dress, the beaming bridesmaids, the tearful dad, and the heartfelt vows - everything falls into place. For others, the wedding is simpler, maybe at a destination or even as an elopement.
Whatever the event turns out to be like, sometimes the marriage ends and the woman is on her own again. Then someone comes into her life, and she finds herself thinking again about how she wants her wedding to be.
Not surprisingly, a second or subsequent marriage will probably be very different from a first. This is partly due to etiquette, but it's also widely driven by the bride herself. She's been there, done that, and gotten the T-shirt. She's not interested in another crystal casting by pristine white horses.
If you are in the position of planning new nuptials, there are a few strategies you can use to make it a great affair that is meaningful for you, your beloved, and all the friends and family who share the special day with you.
Create New Symbolism
Certain wedding traditions are deeply rooted, such as the pure white of a virgin bride's dress. A woman who has been previously married is unlikely to take that approach, so she may choose another color with more meaning, such as a blush of pink to represent the dawning of a new day in their lives.
Other wedding elements can do likewise. Many couples are choosing moissanite diamond engagement rings , which include a cultured stone and a natural stone. The moissanite, as a cultured stone, can represent the couple's work in creating their new lives, while the diamond, a "found" stone, can refer to the couple's discovery of something that was meant to be found all along.
The marriages, and so couples are free to assemble their own traditions.
Make It A Social Affair
Most women think of their first wedding as Their Day. They are the queen, they are the command, they are the center of attention. But later marriages are very different.
For starters, the bride and groom may both be bringing children into the marriage, so creating a bond between step-parent and stepchild can be part of the ceremony. Many couples in second marriages see the ceremony itself as an opportunity to foster all kinds of blended relationships. They want her friends to mingle with colleagues, a very different look from introducing her frat brothers to her sorority sisters.
Unless you are divorced after a very short time and returned gifts as per etiquette, you'll probably still have most of your bridal gifts from your first marriage. Your betrothed has probably long since set up his own home as well.
Consequently, you are not in need of bath linens, scented candles, or a waffle iron. That means that you have to think about how to approach the potential question of gifts.
Since you do not need much, tell your guests that. Include a gracious statement when you send out invitations, and, of course, notify friends that you do not want a shower. If you have any questions or would like to help, please feel free to contact us. Just be sure to tell them what those charities are!
A second marriage can have all the magic of the first one, and maybe even more. The important thing, no matter the number, is to keep your eyes on the years after the wedding just as much as the wedding itself. If you are making a second trip to the altar, think about these ideas as a way to make your wedding uniquely yours.