The Low Down On The No Contact Rule
By Contributing Advice Expert View more articles
What’s The No Contact Rule?
It’s simplicity itself: you ensure that you have zero communication with your former romantic partner for a set amount of time. This means:
- No telephone calls
- No texts
- No IMs, and no emails
- No stalking, online or otherwise
- No contact with your ex’s family or friends
This method will get you over them, as quickly and as painlessly as possible, and works whether you did the dumping or got dumped. It is also particularly helpful when it comes to detaching emotionally from an abusive or narcissistic individual.
Why The No Contact Rule is Necessary
Relationships were not created equal, and it’s not uncommon for one person to be far more invested in a partnership than the other. When it ends, there is usually someone harbouring feelings for their now-ex, and struggling to come to terms with the necessary separation.
In these cases, the injured party is likely to want to maintain some sort of contact with the former lover, and is not dependent on how serious the relationship may have been. You may have had feelings that were unreturned, be it over six months, or six years, but the key to getting over these emotions is understanding that they’re not reciprocated. So hold on to your dignity, look after your heart, and take the first step towards emotional freedom.
The fun doing things you love like horse racing betting also makes a breakup that much easier to bear, and a little extra money to spend on pampering yourself during this period won’t go amiss!
The Advantages of No Contact
First off, you can set some time you need aside to simply feel the pain of the separation, without having to put on a happy face and act like everything’s ok. Have friends round for dinner, stuff your face with ice-cream, read trashy tabloids, or whatever will make this unavoidable aspect of your breakup easier to handle, and wallow a little. Don’t overindulge, but don’t deny your hurt feelings, either.
Giving yourself time to grieve what’s no longer around is part of the mourning process, and will see you bounce back that much more quickly once it’s all said and done.
Secondly, not having to add embarrassment, humiliation, and shame to a broken heart is not to be overrated. There’s nothing worse than begging and pleading, and sometimes it’s hard to remember that a breakup is not a negotiation. Putting No Contact in place is going to save you a lot of mortification along down the road.
No Contact will also put your life into perspective: you will be forced to admit just how little someone actually matters unless you’re making the effort to include them. It also makes reconnecting with your pre-ex life that much easier: remember the fun you used to have hitting the town with a few friends? Investigating betting sites for hot new tips, or playing casino games from the comfort of your own home?
It’s All About Moving On
Find new hobbies, new friends, and make a point of enjoying yourself. You’ll get through this, I promise, and the best revenge is living well!