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Great Sex Tips For Women Giving A Great Blow Job

Great Sex Tips For Women Giving A Great Blow Job

By Sex Therapist, Dr. Diana Wiley View more articles

The last "Sex Tip" was about Cunnilingus, and the one before that was on Kissing (both are archived). I think of hot sex primarily as an oral experience—beginning with deep, emotionally-connected kisses and often wending its way to cunnilingus (the man giving oral sex to the woman), and fellatio (the woman giving oral sex to the man). It is therefore logical that this time I write about fellatio—for all the women visitors to this site or for any guys who might want to share my clinical and personal experience with a lover.

The appeal of oral sex has been with humankind forever¡Vin most every culture. The mouth to a partner's genitals is a powerful, primitive impulse. The first civilized blow job belongs to myth: Hacked to pieces by an enemy, the Egyptian god Osiris is reassembled by his faithful wife, who "blows life" back into him through a reconstructed penis. Just a bit more history: one of the most influential early sex guides came from India. Written sometime between the third and fifth centuries, the Kama Sutra taught that good sex is good karma. It featured eight stages of "oral congress," including side-nibbling, polishing, mango suction, and absorption.

Fast forward to present day: you can't be a sensational lover without at least some willingness to lick, suck, and nibble—and to accept such favors in return.

I have a lot of enthusiasm for Fellatio. There is the pure pleasure of taking my lover into my mouth and experiencing the power of giving him direct, focused gratification. In the process, my own desire heats up!

I didn't always like it...long ago, the first few times were difficult, confusing, and embarrassing. I have come full circle with my own experiences, and—through my clinical work—I also hear my patients' stories. One of the sex education videos I have narrated for the SINCLAIR INTIMACY INSTITUTE was on advanced oral sex techniques. We can learn so much visually...

Before you go down, let's get one (potentially) negative issue out the way. Some women fear the penis will cause them to gag. As we become more aroused and turned on, our gag reflex lessens; nevertheless, remember you don't necessarily have to "deep throat." The most intense pleasure for men comes in having the head of the penis sucked. If you fear gagging, simply wrap one hand around the shaft so that it serves as a barrier to taking more into the mouth than you can handle.

Is it possible that gay men give better blow jobs than straight women? In surveying a few gay videos, it appears that these men handled each other's bodies with skills straight women could imitate. One difference: gay men use their hands a lot more than some women. But, beyond technique, there was an observed intensity—an authentic relationship with the penis itself. For the woman, I recommend really focusing on his penis and on his pleasure. He can tell when you are truly into the blow job. Some women even experience their own orgasm in giving fellatio!

Lots of men also enjoy having their testicles fondled, licked, and sucked. And most respond to gentle pressure on the area between the testes and the anus. You can give your lover a stronger orgasm by pressing that point gently with a finger or thumb as he is ejaculating.

Swallowing his "cum" can be an acquired taste; but please remember, it is more sterile than saliva. Vegetarians may taste better than their carnivore brethren—or maybe it's just the propaganda from cows and chickens! Smoking and/or drinking coffee can leave strong or bitter tastes. The antidote: eat celery or pineapple each day. Also, male ejaculate is low in calories and is good for the female facial skin—especially if left on overnight.

By the way, (and this is for both genders), next to bathing, humor is the most important sex aid there is. No matter how good you might be from a technical point of view, if you take yourself too seriously—no one will care much.

Ladies, remember she who gives, gets. Of course, this assumes the rest of your relationship is in good shape. Being a great lover will not make up for being a selfish person. For the guys: a few women might overlook bad manners and social lunacy (buy April's book to avoid these!) for really hot sex. These women are the exception...

Evolved and happy women will say fellatio is really sensual, absolutely a turn-on, and not at all like a job.

Dr. Diana Wiley, has been a Board-Certified Sex Therapist, diplomat of the American Board of Sexology, a clinical Sexologist, and a licensed marriage and family therapist for over 20 years. Her extensive professional experience and views on sex and the erotic make her a true sex guru and evangelist, and her versatility and breadth of expertise have brought with them numerous spots on national television and radio programs—including her own popular broadcast, Live With Dr. Diana. She can be reached at DrDiana@sbcglobal.net.

Dr Diana Wiley can be reached at DrDiana@sbcglobal.net.

For more on Dr. Diana Wiley please visit www.DrDianaWiley.com