Advice for Dating Over 40
Does Your Baggage Match?
Dear April Masini,
I'm 42-years-old and just getting back into the dating game after a divorce. Unfortunately, I feel as though every man my age has so much baggage and I'm having a lot of trouble finding someone who suits me. Do I have to just ignore this baggage and date them anyway? After all, I am in my 40s and dating and I feel like I'm a perfectly good catch. Do you have any tips for how I can find my over-40 dream man?"
Sincerely, Leave the Baggage at Home
April Masini's Advice :
Dear Leave the Baggage at Home,
Dating over 40 is very common these days in ways it never used to be.
However, there are two general categories of over 40 daters:
Those Who Never Married
Those Who Are Divorced
Of those who never married and are over 40 and dating there are two things to be aware of:
Men who never married because they are too picky or looking for something that doesn’t exist.
Women whose biological clocks are ticking louder than the car alarm on a new Hummer.
Neither of these are "red lights" as far as dating, and it’s impossible not to have baggage at this age – the trick is just to find someone with "matching luggage."
Tips on how to find someone with "matching luggage":
Easy. Don’t waste time – yours or theirs. Without ramming a written survey down their throat on the first date, do find out if they are interested in having a family or not. If you’re a biological clock owner, don’t bother going out with anyone who doesn’t want a family if you do. You don’t have time to waste. Brutal truth.
Divorced and dating again over the age of 40 can be a great opportunity to find someone who’s really committed to getting it right this time, and being creative and open to another committed relationship. Watch out for bitter divorces (men and women) who are going to bring their unresolved anger over the divorce into your relationship with them. Healing in these relationships is abundant and can be joyful.