Advice for Helping A Friend With A Broken Heart
Helping Your Friend Through a Crisis
Dear April Masini,
My best friend just broke up with her fiancee. She's always been the "strong" one in our relationship and while we've had a long friendship, this is the first time I have had to help her through a crisis. I'm not sure what the best way of showing her that I care and support her is -- I don't want to smother her or be unnatural but I do want to offer her extra attention."
Do you have any advice to help her get through this?
April Masini's Advice :
Here are some of the things your friend needs most from you right now:
- Listen. Don't judge. Don't give your opinion. Just listen!
- Try and understand. Don't say what you would do if it were you. Just try and understand.
- Check in with your friend regularly. It's great to be there for two or three hours once -- but it's more important to be there on a regular basis.
- Do small good deeds. Bring your friend groceries or pick up their dry cleaning for them. Bring them a few flowers or just vacuum their apartment or home for them. Sometimes it's the little things that mean the most.
- Offer to assist or accompany your friend to meetings or appointments that have to do with whatever crisis your friend is going through. Sometimes going alone is really hard, and your going with them makes things a lot easier for them.
- Allow them to do things for you. Don't feel you have to do everything. Allowing them to do things for you gives them strength.