Advice on How To Relax and Stop Obsessing About Your Chances Of Getting Pregnant
Dear April Masini,
My husband and I decided to try to have a baby about three months ago. At first, we were relaxed and casual about it, but now that time has passed it's all either of us can think about. I think we're getting nervous that there could be a problem with one or both of us."
I don't want to become one of those obsessed couples, but I do want to do the things that up my chances of getting pregnant. Do you have any advice for how I can strike a balance and maintain sanity in my relationship?
Married (Without Children)
April Masini's Advice :
Dear Married (Without Children),
When you’re trying to do something, it’s very hard not to keep your eye on the finish line. However, when it comes to making a baby, sometimes the best strategy is to relax and focus on other things when you can. Here are some tips and advice for filling the time between making a baby and the baby actually being conceived:
- Stay healthy. No drugs. Eat well. Exercise without becoming fanatical and socialize. Keep a balance in your life.
- Don’t dwell on the fact that you’re trying to make a baby. Focus on the rest of your life. If you feel your family or friends are starting to take a conversation down a path you don’t want to go, set up your friendly boundaries: * Change the subject abruptly.
* Say, “Hey, can we talk about something else?”
* Ask a pressing question about the person you’re talking to.
- Do one special thing with your spouse each week. This will keep new things coming into your life, so you don’t have to rehash the fact that you’re still not pregnant and possibly anxious. For instance, go to an amusement park one weekend. Take an overnight train ride somewhere. Go hiking or antiquing. If it feels forced, don’t worry. Relationships take work, and sometimes scheduling events is part of the healthiest relationships. If you need some ideas for creative things to do, check out my book Romantic Date Ideas. I wrote this book to help even the most established couples come up with fun and exciting date ideas and ways to enhance their relationship.
- Keep sex pressure-less. Sometimes when people are trying to conceive, sex becomes anything but joyful. Try not to pressure your partner or yourself.
- Comedy is always a good place to go. Hit a comedy club. See a romantic comedy or any other kind of comedy. Laughing is a great release for any tension you may have yourself or between you.