Chilly Online Dating Life? Get Tips for Heating Things Up
Dear April Masini,
In an effort to date more and expand my social circle, I joined an online dating site about six months ago. At first, it was great. I was dating all the time and meeting some great women, although no relationships came out of it."
Lately, though, nothing's been going on! I can't find anyone I'm interested in going out with online, and the few messages I've sent have gone unreturned. I'm confused about what's happening, since it was such a fun process in the beginning. Do you have an advice or tips for getting back on track with online dating?
April Masini's Advice :
Dear Cyber Casanova,
First of all, you need to define a cold streak. For some people, not hearing from online dating prospects, after one day — means a cold streak. Others think it’s perfectly normal not to hear from 20 online prospects they’ve queried after three weeks. It all depends on what’s normal for you — and for others. Personally, I advise people who haven’t heard from someone they don’t know, in a week, to forget about them. It’s not happening.
Secondly, if you’ve truly queried 50 women, and you don’t usually get shot down by 50 women in one week, then it’s time to take an objective look at your profile and picture. Like real estate, if a property is on the market too long, people assume there’s something wrong with it. A trick among realtors is to take a property off the market, and re-list it as a new property. Take a lesson from the realtors and re-list your photo and/or profile. Third, you may need to try a new dating site. Or else, try opening up the segment of people to whom you’re interested. If you’re 50 and you only want 18- to 21-year-olds, you might do well to expand your age range of prospective dates by a few decades. While a 21-year-old may not be interested, a 31-year-old might be! Take some filters off.
Since you've been dating for six months, consider my book Ideas for A Fun Date to help improve those first (often awkward) dates and propel yourself to second dates and perhaps even a relationship!