Dating Your Ex's Best Friend
Should You Date Your Ex's Best Friend?
Dear April Masini,
I like one of my best friends, Tony. I recently found out that Tony likes me, too, but the only problem is, he is a close friend with my ex. Tony is a loyal friend, and I am pretty sure he wouldn't make any moves because of my ex-boyfriend. Except that I really like him! Tony and I have become really close friends, and I don't want to spoil the friendship by telling him how I feel. I know he feels the same way. Any thoughts or advice?"
Sincerely, Love My Ex’s Best Friend
April Masini's Advice :
Dear Love My Ex’s Best Friend,
There are more opportunities than ever to date could be right around the corner, or a couple of clicks away in cyber-dating-space. The point is that dating is a numbers game, and if you do your homework, which will save you LOADS of time and money and heartache, you can find the right person for you – and to meet someone who is right for you – or who is exactly who you are looking for. Mr. Right the man you want. Instead, I suspect you’re settle-dating. That’s what I call people who settle for what they see around them. The girl next door or the boy next door was the ultimate settle-date.
Your ex’s best friend is also a settle-date because he’s someone you’ve known. He’s around. And you didn’t have to do any work to find him. Now, don’t get me wrong – when things are simple, they can be good. They can be elegant. They can be much better than complicating things. But this guy is only easy because he’s there. He happens to be your ex-boyfriend’s best friend. This complicates things in two ways:
1. This guy is already a loyal friend.
His possible involvement with you is going to compromise one of his best qualities -- loyalty -- to your ex, with whom he's friends. He’ll be angry at himself and angry at you if he compromises his loyalty, eventually. So while it looks easy to hook up with him in the short run, this is a long term complication.
2. Being with Tony brings you closer to your ex, and I can’t help wondering if you’re not finished with your ex.
If you were, why would you want to be around him? I mean, if you and Tony become an item, your ex is going to be in your life because he’s Tony’s best friend.
Think & Date Like A Man
My number one suggestion is that you look at my book, Think & Date Like A Man, because this is going to help you in the long run. In this book, I’ve not only spelled out what you have to do to find and get the man you want, but how to do it. Some, but not all, of the ideas I write about are:
Knowing what you want in a man is a huge part of finding him. Not making a decision is a decision in itself! Any time you spend settle-dating is time you are wasting. So, figure out what you want before you start dating.
Once you know what you want, understand how men think. I’ve got a great man-think quiz in the book, so you can find your man-think IQ, and then brush up on understanding Men 101 – like men will sleep with you because they can. Not because they like you or love you -- but because you’re willing. Many women mistake a man’s sleeping with them for emotional commitment. Wrong!
Next you need to understand the fundamentals of dating. It’s a numbers game. If you package yourself like a well cared for product, and put yourself out there with your most confident attitude and your best face (legs, hair, body, skin, clothing, etc.) forward, you’re going to have lots of dates before you know it – with men that fit your bill. You won’t have to worry about settle-dating and complicating a great friendship with Tony or staying in a negative involvement with your ex by dating his best friend. Yuck.
Freshen up your life with Think & Date Like A Man, and you’ll be too busy with other men to worry about your ex or his best friend.