Does Love Make You Fat?
Tips for How to Regain Control and Stop Letting Your Love Life Affects Weight
Dear April Masini,
I've been in a relationship with a great guy for about a year. The problem is, we've both gained weight since starting to date."
When I first met him, I was at my skinniest and always wanted to make sure I looked my best for him. That meant I worked out a lot, watched what I ate, and was generally very healthy. He also worked hard to stay in shape. But as we got more and more comfortable with each other, we stopped going to the gym as much and we started snacking a lot. I really miss my previous hot body!
Do you have any recommendations for how I can get myself (and my boyfriend) back on track?
April Masini's Advice :
Your medical doctor can tell you about your particular weight issues for your body – and that’s a great place to start to make sure you’re healthy before you begin a change in diet and exercise. HOWEVER…there is more to weight than meets the eye. And what your medical doctor may not be able to tell you about is the relationship component to weight changes. People and couples have different reactions to love and the relationship dynamics that can be reflected in their weight and weight fluctuations.
Long-Term Relationship – Weight Plateau Couples often get stuck in a rut where they stop caring about how they look because they assume the other person has basically become blind to it. The trick is not to let things become “normal” and not let the relationship hit a plateau where everything is ho hum fine. That is when some people stop being concerned with looking good for “the dating world,” and they stop being concerned about how they look to their partner. This is when some people start eating more, exercising less, changing their lifestyle from that "honeymoon phase" to one that includes that extra slice or two of pizza you have even when you’re not hungry — just because it’s there — on a regular basis.
Trust me, it happens to all of us. We’ve been through it at some point or another, and that’s why I wrote Romantic Date Ideas. This book should help you fight off the ho-hum boredoms that can easily manifest themselves when we’re all consumed in our every day lives.
The tricks to keeping the pounds off as you add years to your relationship have a lot to do with your lifestyle and keeping the sizzle in your sex life, which means you will care about how you look and how you feel.
Lose in Love
The last time you probably lost weight was when you entered your relationship -- and I bet it was easy! Many people immediately lose weight when they fall in love. The reason is that love is not just a matter of the heart. It’s a matter of chemistry, and it has been proven and written about by scientists that different emotions trigger different chemical reactions in people. These chemical reactions can be the catalyst for behavioral changes, including eating or not eating, that are reflected in how people and couples look.
The adrenaline that comes with the excitement of meeting someone terrific and then getting the feedback from them that is flirting, dating, and romance — meaning that they really like you — can cause many people to stop eating or eat less and get thinner. Very few people pack on the pounds when they meet someone terrific and are excited about a new relationship. In fact, it’s pretty rare.
In addition, sex burns calories and having regular, vigorous sex can be an effective exercise work out like no other. So during the “honeymoon phase” of a relationship, which can last from a few months to a few years, depending on the couple, sex can cause weight loss and better bodies — not to mention the benefits of emotional intimacy and self-esteem that can be byproducts of relationships.
So, what does this all mean? Certainly not that you and your boyfriend should find yourselves new partners. Instead, try to remember the fact that when you did lose weight last, it was probably very easy, and it probably won't be as easy this time around. Also, rekindling some of the "honeymoon phase" romance may help you with your weight loss goals!
Some Changes In Relationships That Occur When One Person Loses A Lot Of Weight At Once:
There are a few things to keep in mind as you lose weight, in order to mediate any insecurities or problems in the relationship over the changes in your body.
The person who lost the weight may feel like a new person and may experience new waves of confidence, and as a result, may begin to act in new ways. This can make a partner feel happy and motivated to join in or just watch and enjoy. It can also make them feel left behind.The person who lost a lot of weight may want to shed the old relationship and start a new one.The person who did not lose the weight in the relationship may become insecute because there is a change in the status quo of the relationship, and may start acting needy and/or lashing out and acting out.