How To Date When Your Religion is on Your Mind
Dating Tips - Are You The Same Religion As Me?
Dear April Masini,
I am a Jewish guy in my mid-30s. After over a decade of dating, I've come to realize that religion is important to me when choosing a mate. I have dated women of all different faiths, but when we have common ground in our religion, things work better. Now that I am looking to get more serious and potentially get married at some point in the near future, I would really like to focus my search on Jewish women.
The problem is, I'm obviously uncomfortable going up to women and asking them about their religion, and hitting on a woman in a synagogue doesn't quite seem right. Do you have any advice for how I can deal with the delicate matter of religion and dating without being offensive?
Single and Jewish
April Masini's Advice :
Dear Single and Jewish,
Lots of people want to date and marry within their own religion, race, or some other group that they belong to. While you shy away from the idea of meeting someone at a synagogue, it's actually your best bet (just don't treat it like a bar at last call!). For one, you know everyone there is Jewish! With the right amount of tact employed, synagogues can be a great place to find your new mate.
Try these tips for meeting new people
- If you’re a Jewish single parent, check out the other single parents at your child’s religious or Hebrew school.
- Participate in family services, if you’re a single parent. There will be other single parents there, too.
- Ask the Rabbi to introduce you to anyone appropriate.
- If you’re invited to a Bar or Bat Mitzvah or Jewish wedding, ask the host to seat you with other eligible singles. Do this well in advance of the event, as seating charts and tables are planned ahead of time.
- The only don’ts that come with meeting someone at a religious venue is to respect their spiritual practice. Don’t flirt during a prayer of atonement. Don’t try out a line on someone during silent meditation or during a memorial service. Do mix your interest for someone of the opposite sex with festive holidays and celebrations rather than somber ones.
And no matter what religion you are, it's important to have self-confidence and finesse when you are meeting women. Check out Date Out of Your League for tips.