Is It Necessary for Women to Play Hard To Get?
8 Rules in Dating Every Single Woman Should Follow
Dear April Masini,
Does accepting a date immediately upon being asked out make me come across as easy? I'm so confused.... Do I have to play hard to get and turn down dates? Please give me some dating advice so I can find the man of my dreams!"
Sincerely, Yes, Please
April Masini's Advice :
Dear Yes Please,
The simple answer to your question is no. You will not appear to be too easy if you accept a date upon being asked for the first time. What I do hear you asking, even though you haven’t put it in words is, “How do I get a man to respect me, and how do I show him the kind of woman I am – without spelling it all out for him?” And this is a good question that lots of women ask.
Know Yourself First
The trick to being in a healthy and committed relationship with Mr. Right is to first and foremost know yourself, and know what you want in a man and in a relationship.
Wanting a hot guy is not enough to set you on the right track. Lots of hot guys will date you, but they may not want what you want in the long term.
Figure out if you want to just have fun now or if you want a committed relationship – one that leads to marriage. Do you want children? Do you want to live an urban life or a country life? Do you want a traditional marriage or a modern marriage? Do you want to work after you’re married or after you have children or do you want to stay home? How often do you want to have sex? What kind of family relationship do you want to have with his family and your family?
Okay – obviously, you don’t have to know the answers to all those questions right away, but you need to know what will work for you so you can figure out if a man you’re interested in dating – or are currently dating – is going to make you happy, and if you’re the kind of woman who’s going to make him happy. Because a win-win situation is the best situation.
You can find out all this and more in my book, Think & Date Like A Man, where I address what men think and how they think. Most women don’t understand this – and from the nature of your question, I think you’re one of the women who would really benefit from my Man-Think quiz that’s in the book. I teach you what men really think and what they want.
Men are Hunters Looking for a Prize
And that way, you can know and understand the details of the basic premise that men are hunters. They want to bring home a big prize – in their woman. They want a woman that they think other men want. They want to feel like you’re the grand prize – and that they won you! That means that if you want to get a man – and dating is a numbers game so if packaging yourself like a product will increase your chances of yield – and that means your choices – you should become the best woman you know how to be. And for all the tips and advice on becoming that woman, read Think & Date Like A Man.
Once you become that woman, you will find yourself being asked out, and that is when your original question, "Will accepting a date upon first being asked make me appear easy?" becomes relevant. Accepting a date does not make you seem easy. What you should not do are:
- NEVER ask a man out on a date.
- NEVER propose marriage to a man.
- NEVER make the first move.
- NEVER give him a gift before he has given you one.
These tips are not arbitrary. They are tips that allow a man to be the man. When you ask a man out, or propose marriage, or make the first move, you’re denying him the opportunity to ask you. Men are hunters, and if you hand him what he’s hunting on a platter, rather than making him hunt (which he loves to do), you’ll deny him from grabbing the prize – you!
- DON'T be too available.
- DON'T answer every phone call.
- DON'T return his calls or e-mails that same day. Wait a day.
- DON'T accept every date. Especially if he asks out for the next night or that same night. Be busy – and if you’re not busy, get a life!