Lessons We Can Learn From Celebrity Breakups
Dear April Masini,
I thought Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz were the perfect couple and I couldn't believe it when they broke up! It makes me feel like there's no hope for true love. Is there anything we can learn from the celebrity couple's breakup, and can it help me understand my own relationship better? Can celebrities actually offer us relationship advice?"
Broken Up Over a Breakup
April Masini's Advice :
Dear Broken Up Over a Breakup,
Of course there is something we can learn something from Justin Timerblake and Cameron Diaz's breakup, no matter how disappointed you are. Relationships have their own lives. And they have some basic components that don’t change from relationship to relationship.
Why Justin and Cameron's relationship ended:
The relationship that Cameron and Justin had died because Justin wants a more traditional relationship that includes marriage and kids. She doesn’t. The fact that she doesn’t want to get married and have kids was the reason the relationship was doomed. It was a deal breaker at the end of the day.
Men want to conquer:
He’s a very normal guy in that he wants things to move forward in a normal way. He wants his career to move forward and he’s taken the steps from being in a child professional actor/singer to being in a boy band to being a solo artist to teaming up with even bigger to take his career to the next level. I write about this in my book, Think & Date Like A Man, for women. Men want to conquer. They want to hunt and chase. They want life to keep moving forward, and they want to be on the crest of the wave or the front of the pack at every move.
Remember his former long-term relationship with the pre-K-Fed Britney? He dated a virgin, folks. One who was proud of it. Her virginity was a big prize, and she kept him running for it. The problem was that then she turned the tables on him, and wanted to get a taste of the rest of the world. He wanted to marry her, have kids, and continue on that road he’d been on since he was a child. They were very much in love, and the fact that she wanted to date other men threw him for a big loop.
He landed in a safe harbor who’s name was Diaz. She wasn’t going anywhere. Which was the antidote for him at the time — and also the reason for the ultimate break.
Men want their lives to keep moving forward:
Cameron kept her man’s life from moving forward by being complacent. She is happy with the status quo. She wants to keep making movies and having fun, without having anything change. She has been extremely vocal about not wanting to get married. And while she got attention for making that kind of statement, she let her man down. She stopped giving him something to chase. She stopped his world from moving forward. This stopped him from feeling like a man. And Timberlake is all man.
He’s the kind of guy who wants his mother to meet his girlfriend — and his mom and Cameron have been photographed together, with and without Justin, on several occasions. But somehow, Cameron didn’t take the hint that a guy who wants his mom to meet his girlfriend, is going to want a wedding, a home, children and Thanksgiving with all the trimmings — with his wife and family around him.
Men need to feel like men:
Cameron might have been able to hold on to Justin if he was an older man who didn’t want to chase, hunt, and conquer as much as most men in their prime do. She might have been able to hold on to an older man who had a history of complicated relationships, children, divorces, and just wanted no commitment from a woman at that point in his life. But she can’t hold onto a man in the prime of his life who wants what most every man wants — to win the prize, and feel like he’s won. She sat still and let him collect his door prize, in herself, but she didn’t make him work for the big prize, herself. Men want to chase. They want to hunt. They want to conquer. If women don’t see themselves as the prize men have to work for and win, they’ll deny their man of his feelings of being manly. And every man wants to feel like a man.
So you see, you can learn a lot from Justin and Cameron's breakup. And prevent your own relationship from breaking up by making sure your man always feels like a man.