Second Wedding Etiquette - Can I Register for Gifts Again?
Dear April Masini,
I have a simple question. Is it okay for me to register for wedding gifts for my second wedding?"
Second Time Around
April Masini's Advice :
Dear Second Time Around,
The biggest news in wedding gifts has to do with divorce! Because the divorce rate is so high, there are increasingly more and more second and third weddings. These second and third weddings are different from traditional first weddings, and so, too, are the wedding gifts. Congratulations on your second wedding!
Second wedding gift advice and ideas:
Registering for gifts is fine — for first weddings. It is not appropriate, however, to register for gifts for a second, third, or even a fourth wedding. It’s inconsiderate of the guests — many of whom have already been to and gifted either the bride or groom at a previous wedding. The first wedding is about setting up a home with your spouse. The guests at the first wedding are a part of this experience, and registering for wedding gifts for a first wedding is part of the culture of setting up the new couple’s first home.
But with second and third weddings, the couples have already received platters, china, crystal, and sheets. And if they lost them in the divorce, or never registered for the first wedding, tough luck.
Second wedding gifts are often more whimsical in nature. Food gifts like wines and champagnes are second wedding gifts. Gift certificates to restaurants are also second and third wedding gifts. Often a second or third wedding couple has children, and receiving restaurant gift certificates is more meaningful than if they were marrying after courting with no children between them, because the night out together is more cherished after having raised children and/or facing raising a blended family. To this end, my book, Romantic Date Ideas, is a great wedding gift, because it allows couples to keep the flame in their marriage even after the wedding.
If guests know the couple well, then they may know what they want and need — for instance, specialty appliances like an ice cream maker, a bread maker, a pasta maker — items that might not have made it onto a first wedding registry among the china, silver and crystal, are popular gifts now.