Sleeping Separately? When (and Why) It Might be a Good Idea and Make for Hotter Sex
Dear April Masini,
My best friend and her husband sleep in separate bedrooms. She says there's nothing wrong with their relationship and that their sex life has actually improved since they started sleeping in separate quarters, but I don't believe it! I can't imagine sleeping in a different bed than my husband, let alone a different bedroom. I love waking up in the morning next to my husband and I would hate not being able to lie in his arms whenever I want. I think there's something going on with my friend's marriage that she just doesn't want to tell me. Is it possible for husband and wife to sleep in separate bedrooms and still have a good marriage and relationship?"
April Masini's Advice :
Dear Bedroom Buddies,
If couples sleep in separate beds or even separate bedrooms, and they're happy -- who cares!? It may seem strange to you, but to each his own ... and no, separate bedrooms does not mean a couples marriage is falling apart.
Victorian couples did not sleep together and they had the hottest sex on record. In fact, keeping the mystery in your sex life is part of keeping the sex hot. And if it takes a separation for sleep, and the rest of the relationship works, I'm all for it.
The best advice I can give anyone is to do what works for the two of you as long as no one is being hurt. So, if both parties involved are fine and satisfied with separate beds and/or separate bedrooms, then that's just fine and healthy. And if you and your husband prefer sleeping together in the same bed, then that is just fine too!
If the sex becomes non-existent, and that's a problem, then you have to adjust your sleeping situation to make sex more convenient. If a couple is sleeping in separate beds to avoid sex, than that is a problem in the relationship.
Many couples with young kids take separate beds or bedrooms because the little kids crawl into bed with the Mom and Dad isn't thrilled about having his sleep interrupted -- and the same is true with Mom and Dad reversed.