The Rules and Wedding Etiquette
The Right Reaction for Any Situation
Dear April Masini,
My friend is getting married for the second time and invited me without a guest. I'm considering asking her if I can bring a friend, because I don't want to go alone to the wedding but I am not seeing anyone. Is this OK? And why wasn't I invited with a date in the first place?"
April Masini's Advice :
It is not OK to attend a wedding with a friend if you do not have a significant other.
A wedding is not a mixer or a frat party. There is a lot of planning put into a wedding, and it is inappropriate and impolite to attend a wedding with a friend who has not been invited. In spite of this, many people do bring friends or children without even RSVP-ing. If this does happen, the best thing a bride can do is not freak out. Go with the flow and have your maid of honor or your wedding coordinator handle the glitch.
How does a bride decide whether to let her guests bring dates?
A wedding is a celebration of two people deciding to spend the rest of their lives together. It is attended by family and friends who are important enough to the bride and groom to be a part of this day of promise and celebration. Inviting "anybodies" denigrates the sanctity of the day. If a dear friend or relative has a boyfriend or girlfriend who is long-term (a year or more), then it is appropriate for the bride and groom to invite the friend or relative "and guest". However, because of the expense of weddings, it should not be taken as a personal slight if a boyfriend or girlfriend of a dear friend or relative is not on the guest list.
Do the rules change after you are a certain age (for both the bride and groom and guests)?
The rules always change! Especially with second, third and fourth weddings, and weddings where children and step-children are involved. Etiquette is a great place to start, but it is constantly being updated because society is constantly changing.