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Threesomes for Better Sex?

Threesomes for Better Sex?

Threesomes for Better Sex?

My Boyfriend And I Want To Spice Up Our Sex Life

Advice Seeker :
Dear April Masini,
"

It seems that everywhere I look people (of all ages) are talking about having threesomes...  Is a threesome a good way to spice up my sex life? 

Sincerely,
Is Three Too Many?

"

April Masini's Advice :

 Dear Is Three Too Many?,

Forget it.  That’s my advice. Threesomes never work out. I have people write me here with some regularity, who are in similar situations to yours. Over and over, without fail, these threesomes result in break ups, pain and at least one if not all three of the members of the trio wishing they'd never done it in the first place. 



Sex is wonderful, but it bonds women to men and it create relationships you don't intend for it to create. Sex changes things. It's not like the three of you going to a movie together or sharing a pizza. You're all going to have sexual sense memory and sexual intimacy that will lead to emotional intimacy if you follow through. 

If you are insistent about moving forward in spite of my warning, here’s what I would suggest.

The best way to approach the threesome topic:

  • Before you're engaged.
  • Before you're serious about your girlfriend or boyfriend. 

Some believe that sexual threesomes are fine as long as they're just about sex, but the reality is that for women, sex is never just about the sex, and for most men this is also true. Sex leads to emotional feelings, and it's very difficult to have a conventional relationship with three people, so if you can keep your threesome confined to your "sowing your wild oats" part of your life, rather than introduce it to your committed, long-term relationship, you will have less problems in your relationship. 


Choosing a good third party:

  • Choose someone who is physically and mentally healthy. This is key. 
  • Choose someone who is very single. You don't want an angry boyfriend or husband finding out about this and coming after you later. Same goes for an angry girlfriend or wife. 


  • Be honest that this is not a relationship. It's sport. 


How to know if you're ready for this type of experimentation:

  • You're not married or in a committed relationship.


  • You're healthy in every way.


  • You've got a good support system around you.


What to do when things go wrong:

  • Accept that things are not fixable.
  • End relationships with your third person.


  • Be prepared to lose your relationship with your second person.


Threesomes are not for most people, and I don't advocate them at all. If you have the need for sex with two other people or more, there's probably something else going on in your life that you're not acknowledging and that needs addressing. 

Threesomes can damage relationships and should never be practiced when any of the parties involved have custody of children.