Tips for Coping With A Quarter-life Crisis
New Technology and Changing Standards, People at 25 are Taking a Step Back and Judging Their Lives.
Dear April Masini,
I am a female college graduate and out in the real world for the first time. There are times I feel hopeful, that there's so much I want to do in my life, but other times when I feel overwhelmed that I might not be able to accomplish any of it, and even what direction to go in. I'm sure many men and women go through this issue, but as a woman, there's always the issue of the biological time clock if I choose family over career. April, how do women typically deal with these kind of crisis?"
April Masini's Advice :
Dear Worried woman,
This is not your grandmother's society anymore, and women today have many more options than ever before. While this can be overwhelming to all people, more women are feeling the drains of a quarter life crisis.
Women do everything at different ages than they used to -- all thanks to technology!
The average age that I see women marrying is 30 -- but that's for the first time. Many women are not marrying at all, and many choose to marry several times.
Women have MUCH more money at 30, nowadays, than they used to have at 30. The reason for this is that women are college educated and more likely than men to pursue advanced degrees that translate into higher paying jobs. Women don't feel the ticking clock at 30 that they used to, thanks to technology in the infertility business, so they're more apt to commit to a high paying career than they would have been two decades or so ago. However, at 18, women probably have the same amount of money than they used to have. But at 25, they have more money than they used to have -- but the biggest difference comes at age 30.
The Quarter-life Crisis as coined in the popular media and many contemporary novels written by 20-somethings is a questioning of identity that occurs at the quarter of a century mark in a person’s life: 25-years-old. For many quarter life crisis victims, this is the time when they've graduated from college (even if they took a few years off in between), and have been out in the real world working, or mooching off mom and dad for a few years, and begin to wonder if they've made the right decisions in their life. This wonder is prompted by disappointment. The wondering often escalates into dropping out of graduate school or quitting jobs and pondering what the next step is. Often, while pondering, the Quarter-lifers will downgrade their job trajectory into something like bartending while they figure out what to do next. This downgrade can last several years.
Quarter-life crisis victims are less likely to marry and more likely to live together. Women who are conscious of wanting to have children are less affected by this crisis because, while they may not be sure about their careers, they are sure about their wanting to have babies, and there is a limited amount of time to do that. So they are less susceptible to this Quarter-life crisis, and more apt to figure out how to achieve this goal.
There is no one age of contentment, but there are several times in a woman's life when she is more apt to feel content than other times. Graduating from college can be a time when a woman feels content, and that the world is her oyster. Hitting a landmark, like getting a first job that she loves, will also tend to make a woman feel content. Getting engaged and then married, for many women, is a time when they feel they've reached a goal, if this was one that they had. And having children is also a time when women feel accomplished and content.
When a woman hits 30 and then 40 and feels that she has accomplished what she has set out to do -- or has surpassed her goals -- she will feel very accomplished. Many women feel this way at 50 and 60, as well. Being settled in a relationship, a career, financially settled and set up for the future are all reasons women feel content.